Ok, I have a question, as I struggle through this divorce issue, even though I know I cannot stay any longer. When do you stop blaming yourself ???? I have gotten great advice from friends and family who know us both well.....some say these things happen, and others say They can definitly see where my H has completly tried to control and manipulate me . I know I was at least half responsible, but what if I was the one who started this?, what if it was me who made him not love me anymore? He says he still loves me, but I am sorry, they are just words, he doesntlove me........he wants me to stay because I am a wonderful caretaker, a marvelous hostess and I am a social person who completes him. Trust me it took a long time to become the woman he needed. anyway enough looking back, I am terrified, that I did something wrong early on in our relationship that made him feel this way about me. I would never ever be able to get it out of him, I could never ask him those sorts of questions? We dont talk about those types of things, I have tried. I guess my counselor and I are going to have to work on these questions next huh?