Hello again,<P>Well, after two years, it appears reconciliation is not going to happen. Unbeknownst to my now physically but not legally separated 'wife', I am aware that she is still seeing a another man. Oh Boyfriend #1 is still partially in the picture, but she is working hard on Boyfriend #2. She doesn't even know that I am aware of #2. She thinks that by telling me it's "over" with #1 that I will let my guard down and still continue to finance her little mysterious boyfriend operations without knowing that he is there.<P>Problem is, she (and my 7 yr old daughter)invite me over for dinner ( I bring the dinner) and movies ( I pay for the movies). How do I go about telling my daughter that I can no longer do that anymore? It's just too painful! I know she's still seeing someone else while she professes to "not have to lie to me anymore".<P>Anyone have a good suggestions or resources on how I should handle this?<P>Thank you..I really need advice here.

I think it shouldn't matter whether she is seeing someone else - this is for your daughter. No matter how painful it is for you, it would be even more painful for your daughter if you stopped.<P>A couple of months after my H left, our son wanted him to come for son's birthday and eat cake as a family. My H asked if it was ok for him to come for dinner, too, which was fine with me. A few months later, after asking if he could come to our daughters' birthday party, he suddenly reversed himself (undoubtedly at the OW's behest) and said he wanted to celebrate their birthdays separately. All of the kids are extremely hurt by this. <P>From everything I have read, the only way children have a reasonable chance of surviving semi-intact after a divorce is if their parents put aside their differences and do things together with the children. Have you read "Lostva's" post about how her ex-husband came over on Christmas for many, many years? <P>