Hi A:<P>I've actually tried to e-mail you but kept getting back as undeliverable for some reason.<P>I'm actually not ok. I feel like I really need counseling (and you know why). The other night I was driving home from Walmart with my kids (bought halloween costumes because I have no energy to make them), and cried the whole way home hoping a deer would coming crashing thru my windshield and take me out. Sometimes I actually think my boys would be better off with their father, but that's not reality and I think I know that.<P>Also, A, I have a hard time getting on the computer on the weekends. It seems I'm so occupied I can barely think (which is probably a good thing).<P>I feel a little better since a lot of people have called me lately. My MIL just called earlier tonight and always makes me feel better. What set me off was my neighbor. He's a single guy across the street, Rich. He's nice. I've always thought he was gay or something. Anyway, he had someone over that I thought was a landscaper person. I asked him if that was his landscaper (because I had told him a while ago that if he gets a plan, I'd love to see it). He said it was his brother, but then also threw in that he's married, happily. At first I thought nothing of his comment, but then it started to hurt that he would even think I was interested for that reason. I just thought it was a little presumptuous and now I'm into a depression thing again. Sorry. Every time you read my e-mails, you must want to have a hemlock on the rocks. Sorry again.<P>I know you said you changed your address, but I tried it and it didn't work. Then I tried the old one and that didn't work either. So which one is it, the old old one, the newer old one, or the new one?<P>I'm gonna get some sleep (MUCH NEEDED) so I'll talk to you tomorrow. Nite.<BR><P>------------------<BR><BR>Kathy
