Well, guys, I guess it is my turn for feeling sorry for myself....<BR>I had some surgery done on Thursday, I had a cancerous condition on my cervix, so they ended up doing a hysterectomy, but left my ovaries, so I shouldn't have any mood swings,?,!...should I??<BR>My x has called every day to see how I am, and sent me flowers as well. I am not sure where that is coming from, but it was very nice. <BR>My friend has been supportive as well, as have my kids..and I do have other wonderful friends who sent me cards, food, flowers, etc. <BR>I am just feeling pretty down about everything right now. I should be thanking my stars that I am going to be ok , and that I have two wonderful kids, and that I have all my witds abot me( most days, anyway) but I am just feeling really crappy now. <BR>Kinda like I am gong throughthe divorce thing again. A loss of self esteem, general feeling sorry for myself, etc. <BR>Just needed to vent, I guess..<P>------------------<BR>Susan

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad today. I think the way you are feeling is really normal. You just went through a tramatic experience alone. Don't feel bab about feeling bad. <P>I hope tomorrow is a better day.<P>Jill

{{{{{{{{{{Susan}}}}}}}}}}<P>I'd feel crappy too.<P>Your x sent flowers because he cares for you on some level. Not everyone dislikes their x. I hope I never do.<P>I hope you start feeling better...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

{{{{{{{Sue}}}}}}}}}<BR>Sorry to hear you are feeling so down. This can't be any harder than the divorce so you will bounce back from this too.<P>Take care!!<P>Bob

{{{{{{{Sue}}}}}}}}}<P>Maybe your body wanted to give you one last giant dose of ennui/sadness to ensure that you don't miss your uterus.<P>All kidding aside, I have never felt as critically important as I do now to my children - those feelings of mortality, and just how frail a body really is. Thank God, you saw a doctor, and that everything is going to be alright.<P>And you want to know another kind of silly thought I have had lately? Even though I am happy with my children, and do not want another baby, that fact that soon I CAN'T have one - that it isn't going to be a choice, well, that is kind of hard on me. <BR> <BR>As far as where your husband is coming from, I have always gotten the feeling from your posts, that you and your husband would be greatly affected by the wellbeing of the other. I bet this shook him up pretty good, and that he is greatly relieved you are going to be ok. <P>Life is to be treasured, and every once in a while, we get reminded of that. Take care of yourself.<P>

Honey, <P>That is an interesting observation...had not really thought about it much, but I have thought of getting older, menopause, etc...<BR>I, like you don't want any more kids, but had not really thought of this as being that final. but I guess it is!!<P>My x and I have actually gotten along pretty well through all of this, and his family has been very supportive of me. There are times I think he wishes he could turn back the clock, and then other times he is as free wheeling as ever. Now that time has passed, I will always think of him fondly and hope the best for him. <BR>It has been almost a year we have been divorced. His relationship with the OW is over (or so he has told me). He does call the kids almost every day and always wants to talk to me to see how I am doing and to chit chat. <BR>I have just been feeling pretty down lately.This health thing really woke me up, and winter is approaching (and I hate winter). <P>------------------<BR>Susan

Sue,<P>lets see, awhile ago, you had a post about everyone with kids, trying as hard as possible, for the kids, because the XH moved away which is hard on the kids. Its also hard on your business.<P>You were a child that tried as hard as possible to gain respect from your parents, and they weren't there for you.<P>Now you have a hysterectomy, and are recovering.<P>Seesh, I think that is alot to overcome, and you have done a pretty darn good job of it.<BR>I think you don't know how to receive warmth and support as easily, as you never really had it much before in your life. So you are uncomfortable with being the center of attention, understandable. I bet you don't always like the center of attention, but I could be wrong. <P>Secondly, you just met your mortality for the first time, and it is just starting to sink in. It probably scared the [censored] out of you, as it would anyone, with what we know about cancer. Along time ago, when we didn't know about it, it was alot easier, I am sure; one just had much less of a chance to live longer, and they didn't even know it.<P>My suggestion, and just take it with a tablespoon of salt, is to try to receive the warmth people are giving you, and enjoy it. You haven't had alot of it in a long time, from alot of places, and now you need it, soak it up, and thank everyone.<P>It puts a new perspective on life, and everyone around you is learning about it also. Time to smell the roses with your friend, and your two kids. Let XH begin to return to being a father to his kids, and maybe your family won't turn out so bad as we all dread it can. In fact, maybe you can get XH to be more responsible towards the kids, and relieve you of all the leadership you have provided, which sounds about right.<P>Sue, relax, take it easy, take some time for hard chargin', super mom and president Sue, and begin to feel the support around you. You're the type of person that needs to be reminded to slow down occasionally, (i bet) and now is the time.<P>tom<BR>

Amen Tom,<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{Susan}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>sleep well...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

Hope each day finds you feeling happier and healthier....take care of yourself.<P>I detest winters as well...makes me wonder why I moved to the "great white north!"

Sue,<P>Hope this message finds you recovering well. Seems at times our bodies heal much faster than our minds do. I think I read on another post we are about the same age in life, talk about "mood swings" lol!<P>You have kids at home, that will help. Mine are grown, married and on their own. I fractured my ankle last spring and had to depend on other peoples help for over 7 weeks. Boy was that ever humbling! Couldn't do something simple like let my dog outside to do his duty or make a glass of tea for myself and carry it to another area of the house. <P>It is nice your x can be a friend and supportive in your time of need. Take it as it comes, sounds like he has good intentions.<P>Wishing you a speedy recovery.<P>Ragamuffin

Thanks, all.<P>It just seems like a lot of things have happened over the past two years, and at times it feels overwhelming. I have tried my best at "holding" things together, and I sometimes feel like a failure. And this health thing really scared me. <BR>The business has also been struggling. So my plate has been really full. This was just a bad time for this to happen.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Susan

Hey, since when are these things EVER at a convenient time?<P>concentrate on getting well. you have to be healthy first, then responsible afterwards.<P>In time this will heal, and you will be back on your feet. In times like this, its better to have a great support system, than none at all. Hey, the business can wait for a few weeks. maybe what you need to learn from this is that you need to bring in and train a COO that can take over in your job when these events occur? Its called succession planning, and maybe that it is now time to consider that? just an unwanted suggestion from a strategic planner of sorts.<P>anyway, you can learn from the experience, what worries you the most? the kids? the business? both? hey, relax, take some time, you may have failed at some point in your life, but you learn growth, and forgiveness.<P>Start forgiving yourself for the divorce, and enjoy the down time. You will be back to work soon enough, and need to remember what the smell of roses is like so that don't forget them.<P>Its tough, though, I am right there with you as a business person, reponsible executive type. And I lose my job this January!<P>tom