I have not posted much lately as nothing has really changed. My big problem now is a need for affection ( other than Grandmas ) . I feel very lonely at times and just want to be held and maybe even kissed. I want to be wanted and it is driving me nuts.<P>I know it will pass but the kids huggs just don't cut it any more and Big Red football is only on 1 time per week<P>What to do, what to do?

I know the feeling all to well myself. The big pillows and dog really don't do it for me either. (Only hugs, no kissing!)<P>I've been tempted to hug at work because I have many friends here, but thought that may be a big faux paux.<BR><P>------------------<BR>If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings. <BR>-- Lisa Moriyama

I've been there too. What has worked for me is to change my focus on all of this - to ask "what can I or should I be learning from this situation?". One answer is that I needed to get back to the independent person I once was (and by the way, who my wife first fell in love with). I had become too dependent on her, too needy - especially when work was going badly and life was getting me down.<P>For me, God has been my savior. I can now see that my prayers are finally beginning to be answered - I prayed for strength and now can feel that inner strength returning. I prayed for patience and now feel a sense of calm - like all this is happening for a reason. And I prayed for His love and now I feel His love surrounding me through friends (who I until recently, pretty much had written off), through my family who I had distanced myself from. My brother is only 5 years older than me, but for as long as I can remember we were never "close". We were friends, but rarely did anything together. He just got married this summer to a great girl. This past year they both have been incredible friends to me. And finally I feel loved by a few strangers, that up until about 5 months ago, I never even knew. I truly believe that these people have been put into my life to help (angels in a sense).<P>The sense of affection is missing, but by focusing on the love I am receiving from so many others, I can minimize not having the intimate feelings being given to me. That is not to say that I still don't have the affectionate feelings for my wife - I do. By loving her still, it makes my day go a little easier.<P>Anyways, that is what seems to be working for me.<P>God Bless.

I had a friend at church who asked me what she could do for me. I gave her the most honest answer I could. I basically told her that the one thing I could most use was some hugs. And she became my personal hugger. Now, this is probably easier at church than the office. And it was SO helpful. Be honest and ask for what you need, you might get it. Also, prayer worked wonders too. For peace, courage, strength, wisdom, things like that. But the answers aren't always immediate and they aren't always exactly the way you had envisioned them.<BR>

Hurting - I've missed you around here. Please, just check in every day or so. We're here for you even when things don't change. <P>Have you made your reservation for Nashville?<BR>You need to treat yourself.<P>I had a friend at church who asked me what she could do for me. I gave her the most honest answer I could. I basically told her that the one thing I could most use was some hugs. And she became my personal hugger. Now, this is probably easier at church than the office. And it was SO helpful. Be honest and ask for what you need, you might get it. Also, prayer worked wonders too. For peace, courage, strength, wisdom, things like that. But the answers aren't always immediate and they aren't always exactly the way you had envisioned them.<BR>