10/25/00<P>Day 10<P>7:54<P>I had a dream last night that kinda bothered me. I dreamed that I got back together with Chrisi. I got back with her just so that I wouldn’t end up alone. Well it only lasted about 3 days, cause I kept comparing her to tami, and she didn’t stack up very well. So chrisi left me. That didn’t bother me in my dream, but I met someone else. I didn’t recognize her. She had long dark hair and was very cool. I then went back to the house and asked tami if she could be with only me. Be my wife… she broke down. And all she could say was “I don’t know.” So I left and went my merry way… then I woke up… don’t like the way it turned out… I know that it was a dream, but I want to stop dreaming about it. Want to stop thinking about all of the what ifs’… want to just think about how lucky I am to be alive. How lucky I am to have two wonderful boys. I don’t want to think about how much I lost by losing tami. Don’t want to think about going on throughout life without her. I just want to get on with my life. Time. ****ing time... Sigh…<BR> <A HREF="http://www.webpak.net/~jamesy/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.webpak.net/~jamesy/</A>