Well, I am headed back home this afternoon from my business trip. Not really sure what will happen. We have talked the last two days, but not really about anything. He hasn't mentioned again what he wants to do or when. I am so nervous about what to expect. The last couple of days I have "heard" more leaving noises. He has started paying off bills and things like that. Not really sure how to take it. <BR>Hopefully today will be a good homecoming. I'm not asking for a miracle... Just a chance. Pray for me guys. I need it.

Count me in on the list of people praying.

{{{{{blindsided}}}}}<P>You are in my thoughts and prayers.<P>Take care...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

Cinderella- I am keeping in mind what you said the other night about not knowing and that maybe it's not meant for me to know at this time. I am trying to be patient and give him the time/space that he needs.<P>Thanks also Cooker. <P>I can't wait to see his face. Hear his voice. He said he would pick me up from the airport this afternoon. Then he is going back to work.... Wish that I could haven an evening with him.... We are both home this weekend. Hoping that he will spend some time with me and we can start to reconnect, but I never know. Lately when I'm home he finds a 100 other things to do. I am both excited and afraid to go home. Unfortunately I leave again next Tuesday for another business trip. Oh well. I also have another counseling sessiong tomorrow. Hoping to get some more insight on my situation and a plan for starting to heal. This board is great. Thanks all of you for being there<BR>

Hi Blindsided,<BR> I'm not much in the advice dept. but your posts kind a strike a chord with me. Did you say in an earlier post that you travel 4 weeks a month? Jeez, there's only 4 weeks in a month! The guy is lonely! Dont get me wrong, I'm a recovering workaholic. I traveled a lot (never as much as you!) when I was clawing myself to the "top" of my field, and it was hard on my marriage too. I decided one day my W and D's were way, way more important. I walked out of that d**** office one night and never went back. BTW, I was sure the place would go belly up without me.....NOT!<BR>I'm now a self employed musician and much, much better off, not monetarily, but in the things that really count in this life.<BR>My sister is a hospice nurse and tells me that dying folks often express regrets that they have about their lives to her. She says none have ever said, "I wish I had worked harder at my career", or anything like that. Think about it.<P>Best of luck to you lady!<P>Bill

Thanks... I wish he were just lonely. Unfortunatly, there is much more to it than that. When I was gone, instead of telling him how well he was doing everything, I decided to nitpick and complain about what wasn't getting done. I am rather driven to succeed, but this job could go if it would mean saving my marriage. I have also expressed that to him. Well, I did finally make it home yesterday at 0200 hours. Still not sure here he stands or what he wants to do, but I am going to hang in there as long as possible and hopefully he will begin to trust the fact that I have changed and I wont always nag and complain. I do know it will take time, I'm just hoping he gives me the chance to show him. <BR>I have mixed emotions about being home. Guess mainly it's because I still don't know what is going on or where "we" stand. He still hasn't gone to see a counselor and says he won't decide anything until he goes. I am just hoping the counselor tells him at least try and work this out. If he (the counselor) suggests to him to try I feel pretty confident that H will try. It's hard to see him and sleep in the same bed and not be "husband and wife". I am not sure how to act??? what to say??? afraid to say/do the wrong thing?? Put it is so nice to at least be able to see him and hear him. Even if it's only until next Tuesday (Going out of town again). Hopefully that trip will go better than the last. <BR>arm6868@yahoo.com