Sorry, but I couldn't resist this one <P>MEN AND WOMEN COMPARED NICKNAMES: <BR>If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.<P>EATING OUT: <BR>When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.<P>MONEY:<BR>A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.<P>BATHROOMS: <BR>A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.<P>ARGUMENTS:<BR>A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.<P>CATS: <BR>Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.<P>FUTURE: <BR>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.<P>SUCCESS:<BR>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.<P>MARRIAGE: <BR>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.<P>DRESSING UP: <BR>A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.<P>NATURAL: <BR>Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.<P>OFFSPRING: <BR>Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.<P>THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: <BR>Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.<BR>

I've never had such a good laugh.<P>Most of it considering the typical bachelor is probably true!!!<BR>In the case of my ex well..... the bathroom thing way off base! He has every kind of bubble bath and lotions, for hands, and one for the feet, etc..... <BR>The only thing i wonder is when did he take such an interest?<BR>The same for the house. Scented candles everywhere! Outside flowers. Before he thought they were riduclous and a waste of money.<P>Thanks truly great!<BR>

That was a low blow!!! Those are fighting words buddy!!!!<P>Women have many faults...<BR>Men only have two:<BR>Everything they say<BR>Everything they do.<P>Sex:<BR>Women prefer 30-45 minutes of forplay<BR>Men prefer 30-45 seconds of forplay.<P>Maturity:<BR>Women mature much faster than men. Most 17 year old women can function as adults.<BR>Most 17 year old men are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class.<P>Groceries:<BR>A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things.<BR>A man waits until the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time he reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on the Beverly Hillbillies. Of course this will not stop him from going to the 10 item or less lane.<P>Movies:<BR>Women like to go see a movie where one person dies very slowly.<BR>Men like to see a movie where a lot of people die very quickly and with as much blood loss as possible.<P>Admitting mistakes:<BR>Women will sometimes admit making a mistake.<BR>The last man who admitted that he was making a mistake was General George Custer.<P>Laundry:<BR>Women do laundry every couple of days.<BR>A man will wear every article of clothing he owns before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat where he expects to meet a beautiful woman while he is there. Also... I don't think that I need to mention the "sniff test"....<P>Toys:<BR>Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reache the age of 11-12 they loose intrest.<BR>Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older their toys simply become more expensive and impractical. <P>-Java<BR><p>[This message has been edited by JavaAllNightLong (edited October 26, 2000).]

Oh Oh <P>Looks like we got us ANOTHER rivalry!<P>Let the games begin.<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

I got excited for a moment. I thought Jayhawk was gonna come to my hottub party (You know, the First Annual National Convention of Divorced Marriage Builders) and that this was about a game he was going to teach us. Maybe based on the Kama Sutra.

We can work on that one Cinderella. Just give me some time to work out the details. <P>I'll have to get my thinking cap out for this one!