Wife emailed me today that she filed the divorce papers yesterday.... Now it is only a matter of time before I get that lovely piece of mail from her lawyer....<P>Kind of new it was coming, but had hope that maybe she would take sometime to be sure it was what she wanted.<P>

I'm sorry, I know it's not what you wanted

I said this already on the other thread, but I know what you are going through and I'm here for you buddy. We all are.<P>God bless.

SoTired,<P>I don't know what the law is in your state, but assuming you will be hit with some type of cruelty charge, it'll be a joke from here on out. W's complaint in my case was based on emotional cruelty. She told me before the complaint was served, "the things on the complaint aren't true, but I had to put something down."<P>I know this probably doesn't make things any better for you, but I'm praying for you and all betrayed spouses. I even pray for the betrayers, because it seems like most of them haven't a clue and are incapable of introspective thought.<P>Anyway, hang tough.<P>Jay

SoTired,<P>Sorry for the bad news. HAng in there though. You will make it through. This is not the end. Nothing is over until the papers are signed. <P>God Bless<P>Bob

Jay is right. Prepare yourself for the legal mumbo-jumbo of the legal paperwork. I'll quote a little piece from mine: <P>"During the marriage, irreconcilable differences have arisen between the parties, making it impossible for them to continue in the marriage relationship, and as a result, they have separated and have lived separate and apart since July 2, 2000"<P>What a f***ing joke. I can't even read that passage without the tears. Irreconcilable differences from two people who after 7 years had their very first big fight AFTER the divorce papers were filed????? Irreconcilable my A**. Maybe because she refuses to talk to me about her feelings! Man, that just steams me. Ok, so there is still some anger here, what's a man to do?<P>Anyway my friend, just be prepared AND have a plan for what you're going to do when the papers arrive. Do you want to read them alone? Maybe you'll go to a friends place or be with a family member? Or maybe you'll want to go up to your church and read them in the chapel? Whatever you decide, just have a plan becuase it will take your breath away when they arrive. You will feel some releif after, but it's still going to suck.<P>You had said before that she was basically sending for her things, or asking you take things to her parents for her? That's going to be a tough call. I helped my wife get a few of the larger pieces of furniture from the house to the truck, but I didn't go any farther than that. I think that was enough considering the circumstances. You are well within your right to allow her access to the house to get her things and then leave it at that. But that's a decision you will have to make.<P>I wish I could do more for you.<P>Keep your faith.