.<p>[This message has been edited by Trapped Mom (edited March 25, 2001).]

I had an EA, but I never met the person, or am I with him now. My marriage had lots of problems, but I wasn't really aware of them at the time I got involved. Basically, I was unhapppy, running in the red in the emotional needs department. I was the perfect target. I basically got seduced with kindness; something I hadn't experienced in a long, long time. I don't know if it was a fog; for me it was pretty real. My husband found out about the EA, called the man's wife, and the EA came to a screeching halt. I got over the OM, but the problems with my marriage continued. For me it was a wake up call, that things had to change. Sadly to say, nothing changed, things only got worse. Soon, our marriage will be a statistic. Am I happier? Yes and no. I miss being married, but I am more at peace. I am alone...I have no boyfriend, or OM...but I know I made the right decision.<BR>

I've been in the fog, but the BETRAYED'S fog, not the betrayer's.<P>I think the "fog" is simply perception. There is no real reality except what we individually perceive to be the truth based on our past experience, future expectations, and what we have seen of the total picture. My fog was that my H loved me and only me and that we were happily married soul mates. I loved him then and despite the different way I see him now, I still do. Had I seen his entire personality and knew of his entourage of women, I certainly would have had a different perception of his time with me.<P>I've left the H and do not intend to ever go back or even see him again if I can help it. I was happy with my vision of fairy land at the time, but I can see now that it wasn't real. It was all lies. He's a conniving, manipulating, lying, predator. That doesn't take away any of the pleasure of the moments as they happened, but it does take away the sentimentality and desire for any future with him.