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#67346 12/13/98 02:10 PM
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Recently my wife told me she wasn't in love with me passionately. She loves me for what I do and who I am. Talking with her she said she cannot say I love You back. She also said I am not treating her special. I am military and just returned from a 4 year hardship tour overseas. How do I reignite the flame for me? I love her very much and refuse to give up. Please guide me through this rough time.<br>Wander<br>

#67347 12/13/98 05:06 PM
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Wandering,<p>Court your wife all over again. Do the things you did to win her heart the first time. You don't have to do expensive things, do the little silly things like walks in the park. Take her on dates not just nights out. Do all the planning for them. Slip little notes in her things. Show her your love, don't just tell her. If you have been gone for four years it will take sometime. Make sure she knows that you are dedicated to making it work and making it better. Good Luck. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<p>Steph

#67348 12/16/98 01:31 AM
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wandering<<p>I concur with Steph: you must go through the courtship all over again.<p>How was your marriage before you left ? did the 4 year stint overseas just top off old problems ? <p>She has had time to make other relationships, however unintentional, & some feelings could have grown for someone else. That coupled with old issues could have driven her to think that she should throw in the towel, so to speak.<p>did you do things that caused her to leave (emotionally ? <p>All these things need to be explored and addressed.<p>Good luck ! Nick<br>

#67349 12/17/98 03:25 PM
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I'm in the same situation with my wife due to an affair she had and her passionate love going to another man. I've been doing the things that Steph and Nickee have suggested and am begining to see a difference in her feelings toward me. It relates to Harley's Love Tank concept. Make deposits by doing the things that make her feel loved, avoid making withdrawals by avoiding love busters. I'm really just starting out, but am encouraged by what I see. If your wife's needs aren't being met by someone else, all the better.


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