Having a down day today - my STBXH has scheduled his wedding to his OW about 2 weeks after our divorce is supposed to be final. He is repeating the same pattern with the OW as he did with me - short engagement, buy house and then have kids (even though he had a vasectomy 9 years ago). I was the one with the financial resources to pay for the down payment on our first home, his OW is paying for the land where they will build their home. It seems as if he is just trying to erase the last 13 years of his life and pretend they never happened. He has been very good about seeing our 11 yr old daughter even though we live in California and he lives in Colorado but this may change after he gets married because OW also lives in California until December. When he does come see our daughter he does not want to see me or talk to me. Has anyone else had their ex's behave this way?

.<p>[This message has been edited by Trapped Mom (edited March 25, 2001).]

Barrington,<P>unfortunatly I didn`t find this site until it was way too late...I becameeven more bitter, since he can`t even *act* civilized, for our daughters sake.. she is 12 and at a very vulnerable age.. and I have written him many letters (being he won`t talk to me) asking him to do at least that much for her sake.. with no reguard for her feeling about it at all..<P>I was/am angry.. and voiced my anger, (LB`ed alot) for what he did to us all, and how he did it.. because of course all affairs are all about sneaking around, but my ex did it in our faces.. <P>my daughter and I knew this woman and her H, before he left me.. It was/now is an old, newly rekindled freindship from his high school days.. this OW came into our lives at a very opporutne time, when we were having our problems, picked up on it, and started her scheme to win my ex over, and won.. <P>I did everything I could think of or do to resolve things.. but to no avail.. and I have to admit, the pain is not much better for me yet.. I am still devastated, and hurt that eventhough I said some horrible things, as he did to me too.. he has lost all his compassion.. he held in his ill feelings towards me, and built up a wall of his recentments, for so long.. (to him) it was too late.<P>I feel for you.. I am an old timer here, I lurk mostly.. but your post touched my heart, because I know exactly what you are feeling and going through right now..<P>I (very stupidly) still love my ex.. and he tossed away all the hopes and dreams I thought were going to be all of ours forever..<P>this is by far the most painful thing I have everhad to endure.. and I am sending you a cyber {{HUG}}.. sorry but it is the best I can do for you right now.. <P>I know how hard this is.. but try and keep up your spirits, and don`t over analize eerything that happens, or imagine what he is doing or thinking.. no one here has telepathy.. and it is impossible to know what they are thinking.. <P>It`show they see you RE-ACT.. is what they go by.. stay calm, and (I know it is hard) but collected in your thoughts, re-actions.. and time will ease some of this pain.. he will see you for who you were/are, and perhaps regain the strength and confidence in the two of you again.. <P>you take care of you, and watch how he sees that your doing just fine with or with out him, and you *will* see a change.. try it.. it does work, (in most cases)<P>take care....AV

It is probably normal, that they are trying to bury their guilt this way. I too felt my x was simply trying to replace me with om.<P>He now goes to my dentist, doctor and barber. HE was/is also going to the same place I used to work out. <P>The only difference I see is the place she goes out to eat with the kids, places like Red Lobster and Damons. She would never go to these type places with me and the kids.