I have been on the recover section. I discovered a month a go my wife was having an "A" for the second time with the same OM. I came home from work today (Wend.) and found a note telling me that she and our 2 boys (6&9) went to FL to live(this is were her mother lives). I am going to try to see my lawyer as soon as possible. What do you think and the chances that I can get the children back up to NC.<P>Opinions.<P>

Make sure you see a very good lawyer. Today.<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

Please get the best attorney you can...<P>A good place to start off is at the <A HREF="http://lawyers.martindale.com/marhub/form/by.html" TARGET=_blank>Martindale-Hubbell Lawyer Search</A> site. Do a search within your county... look for only "family law" specialists(>80% in divorce/custody/etc.)... make sure they do a lot of "family law committee work"... if they know the judges all the better... You can normally find a few that will give initial counseling free of charge.<BR><A HREF="http://www.uslaw.com" TARGET=_blank>USLaw.com</A> (an alternative search site)<P>Check it out immediately!!!<P> <P>Jim

A lot depends on your local laws and how long you've lived there. In Michigan, if it is more than 6 months, you can have the children returned to you because they are residents of the state. If less, then they would be residents of whatever state you lived in previously and could probably be taken back there.<P>I'd say your chances are pretty good if your laws are anything like the ones here, especially if you can prove the affair on top of that because I think NC is a fault state.<P>In my case, he moved me knowing he was having an affair going on, but kept lying that it was "over" and kept me here for exactly 6 months to the day and then left. Pretty dirty. I am here alone with no support or job because I've been home with the kids for 9 years (and he rarely gives his kids any time), but I'm going to have a hard time returning to where I'm from and where my family is now because I trusted him. He fighting like heck to give me nothing and take away what I do have, and he can because he has all the money. On top of that, I live in one of the most expensive counties in the state and don't know how I can possibly make it here alone. In my case, I believe I should be able to go back home, I'm sorry. I know others would disagree, but they aren't sitting in my place with two little boys to feed and staring foreclosure and bankruptcy in the face.<P>Would you be willing to have custody of your kids? Think about it, because you may be able to bring them back, but that doesn't mean she has to come with them.<P>Take care.<P>------------------<BR><BR>Kathy

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by hubby:<BR><B>I have been on the recover section. I discovered a month a go my wife was having an "A" for the second time with the same OM. I came home from work today (Wend.) and found a note telling me that she and our 2 boys (6&9) went to FL to live(this is were her mother lives). I am going to try to see my lawyer as soon as possible. What do you think and the chances that I can get the children back up to NC.<P>Opinions.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>hi i think that you have a greater chance of winning your kids i don't know much about nc but the wife that fled with your kids could be charge with kidnapping..... good luck and get on the ball of finding a good lawyer......<P>------------------<BR>liz

Update:<P>Friday: Found lawyer that is ready to go to war. Had to pay him $7,500 retainer.<P>Friday night: Talked to kids on phone. Kids say mommy wants to talk to me. Wife didn't have anything to say but we started talking and talked for 4 hours. Talked about everything we should have talked about (I wanted to) weeks ago. She states that she does not want lawyers to get involved. She is willing to let me have the kids during the school year and she gets kids during holidays and summer break. I told her I wanted to think about it but liked the idea.<P>Monday: I talked to lawyer. He wanted to file for emergency custody. I was ok with that but also wanted the paper drawn up to what we had agreed upon so she would not think I was lying to her. I did not want to break down the communication that we had started. They did not get paperwork done in time for Monday, so they were going to be ready for Tuesday morning.<P>Monday night: Called wife to agree to her custody. She had been talking to our old neighbor friend (we think of her like a grandma) that day. She realized she could not live away from the kids and that the kids could not stay in FL. Before I could tell her that I agreed with her offering, she stated that she had a question. She wanted to know if she and the kids could come back. She then talked about everything she had been experiencing over the last several days. She wants to go to therapy and try to save the marriage. I told her she could come back but I was not ready for her to move back into the house, at least not yet. <P>Tues: Had to tell lawyers to stop all paperwork. They still want to attack, but I had to beat them back and tell them NO. Called mother-in-law. She is driving them back today. Talked to her for 45 min. She told me that this would be a different wife. The good thing was that she only helped her a little bit and did not want to get involved. This allowed wife to experience reality. <P>Wends. Waiting for kids to arrive tonight. Arranged for the guidance councilor to talk to kids at school tomorrow. If wife does seem sincere, I will probably let her back in the house Friday night for the kids. <P><BR>I currently have a thead on the recovery section that I will continue to upday.<P>What a life.........<BR>

Hi Hubby,<P>You may want to let the lawyers still proceed with setting up custody for you. She might do it again. You can always say it is a means to protect the welfare of the children and still work on the marriage. Nothing says you can not work on the marriage and protect your children at the same time.

<BR>I'm with P1. Continue with the legal proceedings. She basically just kidnapped the children, and she might do it again.<P>Bystander

I don't know about american law.<BR>Can you charge her with kidnapping?<BR>Afterall there is no legal paper work stating they belong with you? So how is it kidnapping?<BR>Reality<BR>No what she did wasn't fair. To anyone.<BR>Tell the lawyer your complete thought process. Make sure he or they understand your future and immediate concern's. Follow thir advice.<BR>Then let your wife know. why.<BR>I mean she could do it again.<BR>I lost my daughter for 3 days and it was devasting. Everyone in my ex's family helped him hide my daughter.<BR>In the end he lost custody.<BR>It showed he didn't take her for protection but to be mean towards me.<P>Slapped them all in the face.<BR>Play by the sword...die by the sword.<BR>Above all be honest and upfront with with your concern's.<BR>i hope this helped.