I have only been married for 2 months and am already wondering what have I done! This is very scary and I am feeling very stressed about it. Please help if you can.<br>We come from very different backgrounds and it is making it very hard. He never had a father and I had a great "normal" family (if that exists) - thus, he had no good example of how a healthy husband/wife relationship should be and I did. Anyway, I have read the book HNHN and discovered I am unhappy because he does not meet many of my emotional needs. I am not even sure if he loves me anymore. I have tried to discuss with him the things I need. He listens and seems to be hearing me which gives me some hope but does not do much to change. I think me needing things from him almost makes him feel resentful and pressured. Meanwhile, I am trying to meet his emotional needs and feel very cheated and I just want to give up and be single again. He does not approach me sexually lately and I figure that's because he knows I have little interest. I don't know if I should try to meet this need too, though, I can't imagine that that would help any. I cry a lot and feel very alone. My mom says it's just the adjustment stage of being newly married but I think the problems are much bigger. If anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it. Thanks and God Bless!<br>

I wanted to first say that i am sorry you are feeling so down. How long have you dated before you got married? Have you been able to really sit down and talk with him? Perhaps you could talk with your minister and see if he can help. It also sounds like he may need individual counseling for himself. His past as a growing child, may affect him as a husband(sounds like it has), he needs to get all his "build up" issues out in the open. I wish you the best of luck

Has your husband read HNHN? And did you both fill in the Emotional Needs and Love Busters questionnaires? Have either of you thought about marriage counseling?<p>It can be hard to adjust to being married, but if both of you are truly committed to trying, it can work and be better than you'd ever imagined. With the help of a counselor who is familiar with and comfortable with the Harley concepts, you and your husband should be able to have a healthy and happy marriage.<p>Good luck to you!<p>terri

Thanks Terri and Nancy for your encouraging words. It is funny how just talking about things makes one feel better. We dated for 2 years before we were married and attended a "Nearly Wed class" plus some other workshops. I do not feel so hopeless today as I did last night. After returning home from work last night, I was pleasantly surprised to see him really trying - I made an impact finally! Of course, that doesn't mean all is well but it is a start. He is very aware of his father's absence being an importance loss and that it has really affected him. This is a relatively new discovery (about 1 year old) and he has mentioned talking to a counselor. Like I said before, thanks for your encouraging words.