I left my wife because she wanted to argue all the time and i couln't take it anymore.<P>This hurt her so she filed for divorce.<P>Now, because hindsight is 20/20, I have learned some ways to work out some of our difficulties, especially in light of "His Needs Her Needs."<P>This book is valid research outlining trends based on aggregate data.<P>I think it's far more trustworthy than a sensational personal story.<P>The wife says she wants me to read "Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them," by Paul Hegstrom.<P>This book is a personal story, not based on aggregate data.<P>I'll read it and be opened minded, but she is heavy into blaming me, and in here state of hur and anger, I think this book is giving her inappropriate amunition.<P>I know she is hurt, but even now, after I have left, she still wants to argue, her conversation is barbed with sarcasim and accusation and she is totally oblivious to her own culpability in terms of her shrewishness.<P>I am the only man she has ever known.<P>It seems it might work out, but I could use some pointers on breaking the news to her that it takes two to tango, this is not all my fault and the characterization inherent in "Angry Men," is probably more off the mark than it is on, when viewed from a balanced perspective.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Coalescent Communication

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BillyJoeWilson:<BR><B>It seems it might work out, but I could use some pointers on breaking the news to her that it takes two to tango<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I think that "advice giving" and "education" are in the realm of LBs. The other person doesn't want to hear that they are wrong and what is logical to us makes no difference to them. They need to come to this conclusion on their own when they are ready for it or else it never registers. I would continue a Plan A and let love open her eyes. If she gets to the point where she can hear you, then give her the book. Don't lecture. Don't say, "I told you so", just say, "I love you."<P>... easier said than done!

I think that is where a counselor would be of benefit. We often can't see our own problems and do blame the other person. A neutral third party would help here.<P>Bob