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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 14 |
X has not committed to trying to work things out (reconcile). I have seen him (good) but I have just come over to his house because he does not seem to want to go out (bad- he did not really invite me). We have been getting a little physical on these visits (nothing major). Just don't know if I feel slutty (not commited relationship) or okay (he is my x-husband). Advice? Should I follow my gut which is to cool it until he calls me for once (I have asked him to hundreds of times)? Not experience with this sort of thing at all.<p>[This message has been edited by twurtle (edited November 04, 2000).]
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 747
Member
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Member
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 747 |
He's probably as confused as you. It's hard to say what to do in this circumstance. On one hand, he may need to see that you are serious and may want you to be the aggressor. On the other hand, his reluctance to initiate may mean he isn't really all that interested. Playing the middle of the road might be a happy medium? Perhaps you could be aggressive when you are there, but only if he takes the initiative to call you. That way you are not too available, but show you are interested? <P>I don't know. I am not good at these guessing games. I like people to just be up front and honest. Hey, maybe that is the tactic you should take? Novel, eh?
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 818
Member
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Member
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 818 |
twurtle,<P>Like I posted before, unfortunately trust is going to be a big thing for him to overcome if things are going to work out. If you stop calling, chances are that he won't call at all. I think you need to put "some time into the relationship" yourself. Sure you will be putting yourself out on a limb, but if you truly want things to workout and you think you made a mistake, it is going to be a "long" road for the both of you. You need to stop looking in the short term and begin to think about what the best things for you to do now are, for a new relationship to emerge from your marriages ashes....
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