What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?<BR>3?<BR>?<BR>?<BR>?<BR>?<BR>?<BR>??<BR>?<BR>?<BR>??<BR>?<BR>??<BR>?<BR>homeless

I posted this on TheStudent's thread but I'll post it again here<BR>_____________________________________________<P><BR>This elderly couple in there 80's were dating. Both had been single widowers for 20 some years......<P>They decided the were going to have sex.....<P>The woman wanted to excite her man so began a strip tease....<P>She lowered her right bra strap revealing a very wrinkled very pendulous breast....<P>The old man winced at the the sight but figured...oh well I'm old too......<P>The woman lowered her left bra strap, revealing her other very wrinkled, very pendulos breast...<P>The man winced again at the sight...and again told himself he wasn't a spring chicken either....<P>They embraced and began the awkward act of foreplay....<P>The woman started to get very turned on....<P>She paused for a moment and told the her lover to go easy as she has Acute Angina...<P>The man looked at her and said..."God I hope so cause those are the ugliest breasts I've ever seen!"<P>Bill

One day a man was walking through the park and saw an elderly gentleman sitting on a park bench crying hysterically. The younger man stopped and asked the older man if everything was alright? In between tears, the older many sobbed out, "no, it's my wife"<P>Assuming the older man was a recent widow, the younger man sat next to him and tried to comfort him. Not knowing what to say, the younger man said, "I'm so sorry for your loss, sir. Can you tell me how your wife died?"<P>The older man regained himself and said, "my wife hasn't died. In fact my wife is a beautiful young woman who spoils me rotten. She cares for me, she feeds me and she has sex with me 5 or 6 times a day."<P>The younger man is now a little shocked to hear this and says, "well your wife sounds amazing, what's the problem?"<P>The older man crying even harder now, replies, "I forgot where I live"

Three dogs, a beagle, a Shepherd, and a Labrador, were in the waiting room at the vet's office. They started to relate to each other why they were there.<P>"I'm a digger" said the Shepherd. The last straw was the other day, when I dug up my owner's prize winning rose bushes. She's so mad, She's having me put to sleep <sniff>.<P>"I'm a chewer" said the beagle. I chewed a big hole in my owner's brand new leather sofa. Shepherd asked the beagle "you get the death penalty too?"<BR>The beagle nodded sadly....<P>"I'm a humper" said the Labrador. My owner had just gotten out of the shower and dropped her towel. When she bent over to pick it up...I f***** her! Shaking their heads, the other two dogs asked, "death penalty?" The Labrador answered, "No, I'm here to get my claws trimmed."<P>Two young nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the mother superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.<P>After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock on the door.<P>"Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.<P>"The Blind man" replies a voice from the other side of the door.<P>The two nuns look at each and shrug, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, so they open the door.<P>"Nice boobs, ladies", says the man, "where do you want these blinds?"<P><p>[This message has been edited by Xman (edited November 04, 2000).]

<BR>Rejected License<P>It took the Department of Transportation six months to figure out (and<BR>revoke) this personalized license plate:<BR> <BR> 3M TA3<P>Can you tell why?<P>If not, see the explanation below. <P>It spells out "Eat Me" in other people's rear view mirrors.<P>*************************<P>The Three Moles<P>A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole.<P>One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and<BR>says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"<P>The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says<BR>"Yum! I smell honey!"<P>The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air,<BR>but can't because the bigger moles are in the way, so he says, "Geez, all<BR>I can smell is molasses."<P>