Thank you all for responding. Imagine I will be around here alot longer. See names come and go. I bounced around the EN and IR boards for the past year, but I guess the D/D one is appropriate now. I don't know if I am angry or just confused. All I ever say is I just don't understand why. I'm a good guy, a good husband, and a great dad. I have always worked (same job), have always helped with housework, get up from the table and help wash dishes, bathe the baby, nursed the baby every single night when he was on bottles, never had a problem changing diapers, never cheated until lately, never ever hit her, stayed away from bars, liquor, golf etc... I love her tremendously and have tried to do everything in my power to make her happy and all I get is this separation and mostlikely divorce. Why does a woman with everything walk out into nothing? Where does the grass grow greener? Now, even though "we don't have a relationship", she wants to start over and date each other.<BR>I can't do it cause I feel like it's only to keep her occupied til HE comes along. Plus, as I told her, she knows every thing about me and all I'm about. What possible good is starting over? What could I do differently and better? I'm not the one lacking commitment here, it is her and until she gets in the game, there's not one. I honestly have no earthly idea what I could do different, so for me it's better to say I tried, but simply was not her cup of tea. Computergal, you should reply more often. My reaction to your words was simply, "Damn"<BR>LHC2-Henry

Damn what? Just curious. (grin) <P>Thanks so much, Henry, for encouraging me to reply again. After re-reading my reply, I thought I sounded stiff and formal (really I'm not!) and so we all need encouragement, and you made my day with yours!<P>Reading about what a super guy, great husband, and wonderful dad you must be cause me to think of this: Have you noticed among your friends, or reading the stories here, how many loving, patient, wonderful Givers are hooked up with Takers, some of whom are insensitive and manipulators?<P>Don't you wish we could rearrange society (or some corner of it) so that all the Givers get a chance to marry other Givers, and the Takers can have the Takers (and just slug it out, haha).<P>Seriously, do you think that could be your problem? You sound like a man many ladies would "kill" for, or die for 'cept that would be kinda self-defeating, wouldn't it! You sound like a World Class Giver, and she seems like a real Taker! <P>I think the EN's of some people are selfishly sick, and so there is no way to meet their needs without damaging or destroying yourself.<P>Your quote, "for me it's better to say I tried, but simply was not her cup of tea", hits the nail on the head, I believe, and I am so very sorry to have to say that and to see you going through all this!<P>As for you quote: "Why does a woman with everything walk out into nothing? Where does the grass grow greener?" I don't know what age she is, but sometimes when we are young, we think we can just make things happen, and then we learn from experience that the grass may not be greener after all. <p>[This message has been edited by computergal (edited January 26, 2001).]