<BR>I was spending time with my ex ... again.<BR>We are quite the roller coaster i guess.<P>Yesterday while at his hose he opened an envelope from his lawyer. (i saw it and asked him to)<P>In it was our certificate of divorce.<P>I cried.<P>Not real heavy but i did for a minute.<P>Then i had to remember everything happens for a reason.<P>This morning it doesn't feel like that big of a deal.<P>We still spend time together.<BR>He's offered me exclusive time together 3x now and broken the promise with the woman he was in a relationship with when i asked him if we could spend time together back in feb. <BR>The werid part is i don't understand why he bothers with me.<BR>She'll bend over backwards for him and i won't. I like doing certain things and receiving certain things. I'm incredibly stubborn.<P>Yet he'll spend a chunk of time with me. Spend a couple days with her...call me up asking for another chance and saying she isn't stimulating. Then promise me a whole bunch of things, that i don't ask for insist on or hint at. All i tell him is if your missing her or wanting to see her then say so. It's his lack of honesty that bothers me not her.<P>The last time he stated it was because he wanted me to know how it felt having soemone pull the carpet out from under you when you feel really good. He was being revengeful he thinks. BUT he insists that there aren't any feelings for her and she was complete rebound.<BR>I don't think so.<BR>But i leave him alone when he stops calling. Then within a few he'll call.<P>This yo-yo stuff is for the birds.

rtn2,<BR>sorry to hear of your divorce. It takes time to truly absorb the finality of it (is that a word??). <P>You will feel different about it several times, but deep down you realize, now its for real.<P>Good luck,Dana<BR>

WHY are you spending ANY time at all with<BR>this guy? STOP IT IMMEDIATELY!<P>You now have NO legal tie to him and I'd advise you to cut ALL contact with him.<BR>Don't answer his calls, talk to him, go back with him.<P>No more roller coasters. Move on from him.<BR>He's no good and you know it.<BR>Look to the future and build yourself a MUCH better life!

How come you're not in Plan B?...<P> <P>Jim

we've talked about living together.<BR>we've talked about expanding our family.<BR>he says he wants us<BR>he says he wants nothing more than to care for us.<BR>he says he feels better when he's with us.<P>my child is happy...of coarse.<BR>although confused as to whether or not this is it.<BR>and i tell her i don't know, your dad and i have a lot to talk about.<P>i feel confused...especially lately.<BR>i resent what he did so much this last time.<BR>the other times didn't bother me so much as feeling resentful.<P>I tell him that i am hurt and angry and confused and that the doubts he has he created thinking i might blow him off now.<BR>...because that was what he did.<BR>I tell him that i am not accountable for HIS actions. But i am reacting.<P>He's hurt i guess that i didn't jump into his arms this time and thank god he called and had this realization.<P>I realize i hurt him bad when i left him more than a year ago.<BR>I realize it rore him apart and hearing of a one night stand i had shortly after deciding to separate kills him and his image of what he thought i was.<P>Thing is i never said i was perfect.<BR>i have lots of faults.<BR>I am hard to live with.<BR>Bingo.<BR>But none of this makes me a bad person.<BR>I have my doubts now whether or not he can forgive because last night on some stupid internet love match zodiac thing after he punched ours in he then punched hers in.<BR>How insensitive was that? This is after we just got done hashing the day away about my concerns!<P>I'm trying to be a better person and i tell him continually. If you think about her then go back. I don't want anything to do with someone who flip flops and is thinking even for a second about someone else.<P>Although the whole event would hurt me... i do mean it.<P>I'm just desire so much more than that.<P>I've taken all the lumps and bumps i feel i should for hurting him so terribly. <P>advice? thoughts?

OH<P>not all is bad or confusing....<P>later after i told him how insensitive that match thing was...<P>he called me into the computer room told me to shut my eyesand played my favorite song by meatloaf.... anything for love.<P>see?<BR>he can be very thoughtful too.

Sounds like ex is taking a ride on the hero s**thead rollercoster. He can only keep you on it for as long as you allow him to.

thanks,<BR>your honesty is appreciated