Damn, that was good and so right on the money<BR>I have felt for so long that if she could just see the light and get her head on straight, we could be so good together. So many of my friends here tell me to move on and find someone that really cares for me. They say she is only using and manipulating me, and the sad fact is, I know it. I just keep hoping that something will wake her up.<BR>And, I guess I keep trying cause I don't understand why it has failed. If I knew that, then I could move on. But in her words, "you may never understand." I took my vows seriously and never wanted to be a statistic. Now that we have a son, I never wanted him to be one either. I wanted him to grow up in a stable home with mom and dad always there to guide him. What right does she have to take that from him? She can't do it alone- - she can't even guide herself.<BR>She has no understanding of commitment or responsibility. Yeah, she was spoiled when we married, her 19, me 25, and yeah, I spoiled her worse over the past 11 years, but I enjoyed doing so. It scares me to move on cause I'm afraid that caring from another will only lead down the same road. I feel like it's better not to care anymore.<BR>Unfortunately, that's not me. Many people say go out and do what you want to do...I don't know what that is anymore. The #1 thing I want to do is un-do-able. Anyway, computergal, you latest response was great to read. Glad I made your day as well. Could never get enough friends like you. <BR>LHC2-aka Henry

Hi LHC2-aka Henry,<P>So good to come across your post! I've checked off/on today to see if any of the troops have replied to your threads... was just reading today's active topics one last time, and boom! Once again "computergal" jumped out at me from another of your so-very-nice headlines (or "threadline" I suppose I should say)! <P>Tonight I will just acknowledge your latest post and if I think of anything that might help, I'll post tomorrow. For now, I'll just say that I've come to realize that some people I hoped would change and love me, sadly, seem not capable of really loving anyone, and even seem to have character flaws such that that you just can't make a dent in how they feel toward you, how they try to manipulate you, use you, control you. (Having four in my immediate family has given me lots of valuable experience in that area, haha!)<P>So if you are able to determine that your wife is such a person, well, she probably will not change, short of a miracle, and I believe in miracles, and have seen people turn their relatives around by exercising biblical faith, prayer, etc. It was my impression on reading your first post that your wife might be like that, but a first impression is not the last word, of course. <P>btw, care for a joke at this point? A psychiatrist was discussing his manner of treatment with a middle aged lady who was his patient. He said, "All right, Mrs. Smith, let's get this straight. On the one hand, you have not studied psychiatry at the world's greatest universities, and I on the other hand, have not read that article in the Reader's Digest."<P>I really do appreciate your reaching out through a "threadline" to tap this computergal and say, "Hey, I liked your post!" I needed that, especially today. <P>If you'd like, we can exchange e-mail addresses. This post seems more like an e-mail than a MB message (but hopefully no one will notice and complain!) I'll be bold and offer you mine: gfisch@worldnet.att.net<P>Again, will post again tomorrow if I can think of anything else that might help. And do keep posting and e-mail me if you wish.<p>[This message has been edited by computergal (edited January 26, 2001).]