CJ- You are disappearing again... Are you doing okay???? If you need to talk, you know where you can find me.<P>{{{{{{{{{{CJ}}}}}}}}}}<P>-Java

Hey, chick! You are so funny. Thanks for your thoughts, but I'm here. <P>You saw the other thread, right? You know where it was leading right? Well, the very day that Bystander asked if STBXs ED was related to an A, and I answered I never thought of it (Duh), I called to his place and another woman answered. Bystander sure called that one, didn't he?<P>Anyway, it threw me for a loop, because I just had never considered the possibility. And one person that I thought I could really depend on was ... well, it didn't work out. So for once, I thought I would figure it out on my own and not turn crying to my friends here. <P>It's kinda funny, because yesterday wasn't great, but by the end of the day, I was feeling a bit better. I chose to give in and took a melatonin to get some sleep, and guess what? I feel not too bad today. Plus, I'm proud of myself for dealing with it on my own.<P>I'm beginning to realize that for a while, anyway, this is going to be a journey of highs and lows, and that quite often, just when you THINK you're high, something low will come along. At this point, I don't mind the highs and lows, I just wish they would level out a little. <P>I'm really lucky. When I have days (and nights) like this, I know just what to do to take care of me and make me feel better--maybe not altogether healed, but better. I can't imagine how people get through this alone!<P>So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

<BR>CJ sadly mentions:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Well, the very day that Bystander asked if STBXs ED was related to an A, and I answered I never thought of it (Duh), I called to his place and another woman answered. Bystander sure called that one, didn't he?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I may have called it, but it wasn't a pleasant call. I'm so sorry, CJ! <P>Bystander<P><BR>

Thank you. I don't know what to say. All kinds of signs were there, but it wasn't what I was looking for, so I didn't see it. <P>Oh well. Sigh. We are apart anyway, so I guess this is just a nail in the coffin, huh?<BR>What else can I think?<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

{{{{{{{{{{CJ}}}}}}}}}}<P>I know how the roller coaster goes! But remember, we are all here for you! It is okay to figure it out on your own, just remember that you are not alone. There are so many people here who worry and care about you!<P>-Java

Thanks!! <P>I know that. But as Jayhawk very wisely told me one time, the only person I can depend on is the person in the mirror, and sometimes I need to know that person's limits.<P>Guess what? I passed the test!! I really AM strong, and I can withstand it on my own!!<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.