Well for the last two months I have been posting on "Just FOund out..." but I just found my H. in another lie, and I just can't take it any more. I give up. I can't battle his demons, my demons, and the OW demons, and still have some kind of normal life for my children. I got a packet of information on "Do-IT-Yourself-Divorce" and have filled out the papers. But I am not sure how I am to finish it. I know to mail in the paper work with payment, and the do the filing fee at my local COunty Court house, but what happens after that? What happens when H. tries to force my hand? I am scared, and angry and hurt, but I am not sure what the next step is. If anyone can help me, please do gn

It sounds like you're on the right track, but laws vary state by state, so it's important to have references valid for your state. In California, Nolo books specializes in books for legal self-help and guides for the overall process. Perhaps you could check a bookstore and find similar resources for your state or area. In many states a no-fault divorce can be a relatively straightforward process. But, once your husband is served, there are issues regarding division of assets, custody, etc., which can be contested; in California this can involve state sponsored mediators prior to court proceedings. Again, this varys a lot state to state, so you need to find local resources to guide you (such as books, women's organizations, etc.) or possibly a short (not too expensive) legal consultation with a lawyer. The latter is advisable under almost any circumstances, just to make sure you're not overlooking something important.<BR>Good luck, take care, and let us know how you're doing. <P>Regards,<P>Jon

By all means, consult a lawyer. a reputable one, if you can find one. <P>An initial consultation shouldn't run more than $150-$200, and is probably worth the investment.<P>Good luck & take care...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

<P>My only suggestion is be fully aware of problems that will arise.<BR>It can get awfully hard very fast.<P>Be sure that you can handle everything he can possible throw.<P>Talking to him an option?<BR>My ex and i agree that we wish we would of just sold our house paid our debts and with the money left over split it 50/50.<BR>he says he would of given me a car off his lot. I say i wouldn't of bothered with his business. He says he would of felt better doing it that way. I wish we would of.<BR>Orginal that was our plan. THEN lawyers got involved and he did some silly things he says his lawyer instructed him to do.<P>But in the end we're divorced Nov 2 2000 was the date.<P>Try and make it as amlicable as possible.<P>I would hope you can leave lawyers out of it.<BR>But if he isn't willing then take your papers to a justice of the peace and get them noted and filed.<P>Best of luck!!!<P>