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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 122
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If you and your ex spent time together after filing or living apart.... were you sorry? understanding? more confused? did it add closure? make you angrier? put you back at step one?
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 47
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I have not got as far as separating yet, so my reply is don't know, the only thing I would be worried about is putting to much store in what would be the outcome and if it did not go the way I needed it then could I cope again with all the hurt??<P>hope you get a rply from someone whos been there and done that.<P><P>------------------<BR>karen
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Joined: Apr 2000
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rtn2<P>what kind of time are you thinking about?<P>weekends, joint activities with the kids, dinners?<P>STBX and I go to kids soccer games together, and kids stuff together, but is that what you mean?
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Joined: Sep 2000
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Hi RTN,<P>Sure, we've spent time together to do the things parents need to do for the children we both still love and wanted raise and educate. We've even helped each other out on many occasions.<P>What we didn't do is spend any time together as lovers. But that wasn't a problem, she didn't care to have me near her for years before we divorced, so it wasn't much of a temptation after we divorced. In retrospect, I think that was a gift.<P>Bumper
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Joined: Aug 2000
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i guess i'm talking more than parenting.<BR>dating, lovers again, dinners, shows, with and without the children.
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Joined: Jul 1999
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Well, since I don't have any kids.... I guess the parenting issues don't apply.<P>After the separation, we spent time togeter... we were trying to reconcile, and we dated & slept together. It was good then, because we were trying to work things out.<P>After the D, we went to dinner a couple of times, and had one close encounter with almost intimacy.... too close. If (big IF) we would have been trying to reconcile again.... it would have been fine. To be honest, it was very hurtful to me to be together with him in a social setting after the D, knowing he didn't want to work things out.<P>I guess what I'm trying to emply.... If you are "together" after the D or S, and you are trying to reconcile.... I think it would be WONDERFUL. What are your feelings about it.... is that where you are headed??? Is that what you want?<P>
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Joined: Aug 2000
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It hurts to see her or hear her voice. I guess that's a good sign that I'm not over her.<P>I am at the point now that I'd be afraid to invest anything emotionally with her again. I'm sure we'll have contact in the future, due to joint custody, but I will keep it to a minimum to protect myself emotionally.<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again
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Joined: Apr 2000
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stuff for the kids, yes,<P>the other stuff, like dating again, well,<BR>no, sorry, we all make mistakes, i do, she does, but you have to admit them at the time, and work past them. otherwise it is just being stuck, and being stuck gets you something without giving.<P>good luck.<P>WIFTTy
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Joined: Jun 2000
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rtn2,<P>Yes I was very sorry. It added more pain and prolonged the healing process that is still not complete for me. <P>I needed closure, not confusion and it didn't help. I wanted either to save the marriage or be done and start to get on with life. I'll always regret it.<P>
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