Hi all,<BR>First, I will tell you a little history.I an in mediation with H.He is living with internet OW and 2 of her OC's.<P> Son came home from school today, and in conversation he told me H had said something to him about me, and son as not to tell me what is was.<BR>When H made the comment about me he said to my son"oh,you werent suppose to hear that"<P> I know my husband well,the last statement was suppose to be funny,sarcasm.<P> I do not appreciate H making negative comments about me ,and then asking son to keep it a secret.<P> This is not to be done ,and is even stated so in mediation agreement.<P> Anyone with any comments?<BR>Love and Prayers,Beth

Hi Beth,<P>I dont know what to say except there is probably not much you can do except be the better person and not lower yourself to his level. Your son is proabably old enough to know what his Dad is doing is not right, and that shows because he didnt keep it a secret.<P>Hugs,<BR>Lora

Hmmm, since you can't shoot him.... <P>My son & I don't talk about her or her friends when he is with me. I made a standing rule with him about not talking about her friends or her boy scout.<P>I think it would be fair for you to ask your kids not to talk about him or the OW/OCs, if that's what you want. Set up the boundaries you need to be comfortable<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

Lora,<BR>Thanks for your resonse.I have always appreciated your support.<BR> Love and Prayers, Beth

Cooker,<P>I have set up boudaries about sons talking about girl scout and her OC's.I only want to hear about them if sons have an issue about them.<BR> Iguess it really annoyed me that H was making deragatory remarks about me.<P>When H was still living with us ,H would make deragatory remarks about one of my sons ,to the other son.This I beleive was done to try to gain closeness and bonding,at the expense of another.<P>I beleive that type of behavior is inappropriate.<P> Anyways enough of that.curious about your sreenname,is there a story behind that?<P> love and Prayers ,Beth<BR>

Actually yes. It was the callsign of the guy who wrote the first review of the Porshe 911 Turbo for Playboy. (I have always had a thing for the 911) Actually his callsign was Pressurecooker. The first time I tried to use it as a screen name cooker was taken, so I took c00ker. Kind of trivial, but at least I can remember it <P>One of the rules I decided for myself was to never denigrate my STBX in front of my son. I have always been completely truthful with him, and someday, he'll figure all of this out on his own. I don't know what she tells him and I really don't care. I'm not the same person she fell out of love with, and that's all I care about. This is no longer about me, it's about her. He'll see that someday, but I'm going to let him discover that on his own.<P>It's not right for one parent to make derogatory comments about the other to the kids. It's a sign of weakness and the mark of a small and insignificant person. I refuse to go there myself. I don't need to. <P>Take care...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again<p>[This message has been edited by c00ker (edited November 15, 2000).]