I think there can be a place for some of the humor here, and as it has been said, if you don't want to read it or respond, then don't. <BR>This kinda reminds me of the "dating" thread a few months back. Some here were shocked that many of us here were moving back into dating and not working on our "marriages." It got quite heated in there, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion and my feeling is, some of us neede to post about that subject because it was a reality in their lives and this board was designed to help us work through the issues of marriage, divorce and relationships. <BR>So, the "off color" humor helps some here cope. And I admit, I have read soem and found them to lighten me some, others, no. <BR><P>------------------<BR>Susan

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by [censored]:<BR><B>[censored] from Texas</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Texas? Just where is that anyway? Is that a suburb of Omaha?<P>But seriously, I've noticed that many of the folks here seem to feel free to say what is on their minds without clearing it though me. Doesn't seem to be too big a problem though.<P>Bumper <P>

[censored],<P>Off color? As in, "off color" by *YOUR* standards? Or shall we use my standards?<P>The point is, no one has a right to impose their standards on anyone, and most certainly not on me. Plain and simple, I won't allow it!<P>I've often wondered at people that under the guise of being a "christian" come off with an attitude of superior morals and then try to enforce them on other people.<P>Some food for thought; where did Jesus teach the word? Not in a church, and not with the "moral" people of the day.<P>And I think he also said something about "throwing the first stone."<P>If my being an adult, speaking like an adult, and yes even expressing my thoughts and feelings in a joke, offends you then I am sorry. Sorry that you can't deal with it that is. Because I don't believe I need to curb anything I have to say to protect your high morals. That would be your responcibility, yes?<P>As it is your responcibility you may handle it as you think best. Don't read the posts, don't answer the posts, no longer visit the web site, or simply accept that not everyone agrees with your point of view.<P>The problem of self elevation, is that you end up very lonely. Spend a little more time in the bible and maybe you can learn what Jesus tried so hard to teach about his fellow man.

Hi friends,<P>I can't really answer the question of the "off colored humor" because I haven't had time to read all these things lately. Not much offends me if its not a personal attack though.<P>As for the prayer request, that was probably mine about 2 months ago. I haven't seen another post "about" that being offensive but again, I haven't been around as much.<P>I will not post one of those again. However, that is titled quite clearly when I posted it and those who are closer to me, I doubt were offended. And if not interested, then I suppose someone doesn't need to read. <P>I would agree with Jay that I'm not terribly religious, more on a spirtual level since the marraige vows were broken, but we all go thru things that we ask for help on. <P>This site is for help and no one should feel left out, but no one should be singled out either. <P>Sorry to see you feel that way to [censored], and sorry to those who I offended, the one prayer request I posted was for my VERY sick daughter, and she is perfectly fine now and I thank all of those who sent me and us well wishes on that thread and in email because I believe that you were all a great help.<P>Hugs,Dana<P>

Hi [censored],<P>My response is I love sexual humor, but seldom post or lurk on the sex threads because my time is so limited. I can get really raunchy (Bet I could gross you all out!) <P>But I really need inspiration, encouragement, and to give back the same to other souls in pain. It's therapeutic for me. I can't talk to my peers, I'm protecting my marriage and our family by keeping the problems quiet, and I come here instead.<P> I'm working on a marriage threatened by a lack of emotional connection to the point that one of us got overly involved with an opposite sex friend. So I mostly lurk around Just Found Out and the areas of rebuilding, but dabble elsewhere too. <P>I'm Catholic, that's how I define myself, not Christian, though many people would say I'm splitting hairs. I see God working in my life, not just Christ. Religion has gotten more central to my sanity, and there are Jews who post here too. Sex is a way to connect with God. In the context of marriage, it's the closest we can get to ecstasy - two people becoming one. <P>God has worked in my life since D-day. I've been befriended by an elderly Rabbi and his wife, and I spend a few hours every day with this holy man, who dictates sermons about the Torah portion and I type into his computer. (He can't see too well, so I read back what he dictates, and he edits it). He then delivers the sermons at the Friday minyan. I can't tell you how much this contact his enriched my life. Even though the Jews don't believe Christ was the Messiah, God is central to their lives. MB isn't just Christian. It's for all people who love God.<P>But I admire you for having a value, sticking to it, and not being "one of the crowd." It's not my opinion, maybe because I don't spend much time checking out the sex joke posts.<P><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

I get kinda tired of folks referring to Christian people as having an attitude of superior morals and self-righteousness. I follow a Christian faith and have never considered once myself to be any better than anyone else or less prone to screwing up. (because I have, most definately.) Quite the contrary, I feel very humble, especially today. Is there any better defense that can one can come up with when they are asked about the propriety of their behavior? I think that this is pure defensiveness.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Country Guy:<BR><B>The point is, no one has a right to impose their standards on anyone, and most certainly not on me.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Country Guy, You Da Man! <P>The whole idea behind this site and the wonderful posts is that people are sharing their experience, strength, hope, views, lots of encouragement and an occasional smile. [censored] doesn't seem to be sharing his views, he is trying to inflict them!<P>I really didn't want the responsibility for telling [censored] that everything he said was baloney. That's what lawyers are for. They can get paid for telling him that everything he said was baloney. In his case they may charge a little extra. <P>Bumper<BR> <P>

I refuse to engage any longer in a 'war of words' and to those who have made demeaning remarks to me....all I can say is "Bless You"<P>I stated my feelings and I do not back down from my convictions. Yes, Christianity is a very narrow way, even Jesus said "Broad is the way that leads to destruction but narrow is the way and few be there that find it"<P>He also said "He was the Way, The Truth, The Life" - I'm sorry folks, but Personal faith and Trust in Jesus Christ,in His shed blood, death, burial and resurrection is the ONLY road to heaven.<P>I am not a 'holier than thou' person..I detest this mentality in anyone. I am a broken man who has found everything in my personal faith/trust in Jesus!<P>I do not debate with anyone, I do not believe in arguing.....all I can state is that Jesus has totally changed me and He is everything to me. His arms are open wide to "whosoever will".<P>I've heard it said that a "man with an experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument"...and I have experienced His Love, Grace, Mercy and Forgiveness.<P>I'm sorry, but to the best of my knowledge, this is a 'Christian' site based on what I know of Harley.<P>I thank each of you for your remarks, even those that were demeaning......I won't be posting on this thread again....<P>[censored]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by [censored]:<BR><B>I refuse to engage any longer in a 'war of words'<P><BR>I won't be posting on this thread again....<P>[censored]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>To the first, anytime you step in and are critical of anothers words or expression of thought, you are starting a "war of words". Certainly you didn't expect that you could simply state your opinion of others without feedback did you?<P>To the second, thank you.

[censored],<BR>Christian or not, I suppose there is a line to draw as far as simple good taste goes. I checked out the "sex" sites just to see what people were talking about. My opinion is that it is filled with a bunch of people who feel better about themselves when they talk about sex or when someone makes sexual remarks towards them or finds them attractive. Actually pretty sad when you think about it. <P>Same thing with the dating threads. Most of these people hadn't even let the ink dry on their divorces (heck, some of them weren't even finalized yet) and they are there gushing about "love" and the new person in their life. I find it ironic that most of the relationships they were so enthusiastic about a couple of months ago are now over or on the rocks. Oh yea. THAT is love. <P>In the whole big scheme of things, none of us really have the "answer". You have found your answer in Christ, and I'd say that is a whole lot better than coming here and swinging your you-know-what around. People have to make their own choices in their life, no matter how screwed up you think they might be. A buddhist monk told me one time, "there are many paths to heaven. I just prefer taking the jet airplane instead of walking." If Christ is your "jet airplane", then more power to you.

<BR>My relationship is not over or on the rocks.

You know what? I am starting to get just a little sick and tired with some of the attitudes being expressed within this thread and now I am becoming offended, seriously.<P>Isn’t it fair enough that we come to the agreement once and for all that not everyone can please everyone else 100% of the time, we aren’t always going to agree and we just leave it at that?<P>Everyone on this site has the right to their own opinion and should not be chastised or driven away from this site because of it. This little “can of worms” was initiated by one member because he felt the need to voice his concerns and reasons that he was offended by some posts on this forum. Although I did not agree with everything that was said, he was polite, he didn’t name names, he didn’t single ANYONE out and he was honest.<P>I have now seen this member insulted, mocked and ridiculed, simply for stating <B>his beliefs</B>. Now this member is not going to post on this thread anymore, and I don’t blame him. Enough is enough already.<P>I have posted several responses here as it was my name heading the whole sex file, but I did not intentionally try to single out anyone and I certainly did not intended to insult anyone by any of the things I have said here. I do not hold the same religious views as this member, but I still respect what he has to offer all of us on this site.<P>If this site is going to turn into a place where none of us can express our feelings without the fear of persecution from other members, then maybe this site is no longer for me either.<P>And I take an incredible amount of offense for being judged as for “my” reasons for taking part in the discussions on the sex thread. Whether it boost my self-esteem, gets me back into the saddle of life, helps get me out of my shell, helps pull me away from the otherwise depressing moods I get myself into or just plain makes me smile, I should not be insulted because of it. And I am definitely not going to sit here and have the love I fell for my wife or the importance I placed on my marriage questioned just because I chose to have a little fun. I do not see how taking part in some silly ‘cyber’ discussions really should be equated to my ability to know what LOVE is, in any way.<P>I love my wife. <BR>I loved being married.<BR>I never cheated on my wife.<BR>I have remained faithful to my vows, to my wife and to myself throughout my separation AND I will continue to do so until the final divorce papers are signed.<P>Now how many of the people on the entire MB site (all forums) can say THAT? I know for a fact, that some of the members in this thread alone cannot. And I have never once made reference to, or insulted someone because of it.<P>True people do things they regret and we all make mistakes, but let’s be realistic here! I don’t mean to offend, but compared to infidelity, should I be ‘judged’ because I chose to have a little harmless fun with some of my friends from this forum?<P>Get a grip people! Our silliness out there was a just a game. Just a way to let off some steam and to have some fun.<P>I think more should be said of those ‘voyeuristic’ members who lurk for weeks within a thread, but never join in. THEN they try to pass judgment onto the rest of us because they feel their new found morals are better than anyone else’s. <P>Now what’s the definition of the word “hypocrite”?<P>The two responses within that have offended me the most were from members who never once posted a single word on the sex column, yet I would be willing to bet they’ve read every one of them. Maybe some of them twice!<P>Now I am being judgmental here, but I don’t see any other way to get my point across. If I have insulted or offended, then I apologize, but this ‘little war’ that has started needs to end. <P>Jayhawk<BR> jhawk93@kc.rr.com <BR>

For God's sake..Don't read what offends you.<BR>But for reality's sake, don't try to tell others what they can or can not read or post!<P>I have never been offended because I don't read what I don't want. I don't even know what posts you are referring to. <P>I am sure you have drawn more attention to them with this post though.<P>When I search a topic on the net and it opens up a page with porn, I don't write the administarators a letter. (Don't have that much free time on my hands), I just change the site. <P>As far as my religious beliefs, I believe God gave us free will. The intelligence to use it. I wouldn't stand in the middle of an expressway praying for God to save me, I'd use the brains he gave me to get out of the road. I also wouldn't drag a bunch of friends into the road to pray with me.<P>SheRa<P>BTW, are you shocked that you didn't get the response of outrage you were expecting?<BR><p>[This message has been edited by SheRa (edited November 18, 2000).]

Jayhawk - I hate to be the one to tell you this, but [censored] did not simply feel "the need to voice his concerns and reasons that he was offended by some posts on this forum". He went much further than that by contacting site admins and insisting that his will be forced on the rest of us. In addition, he proclaimed this a "Christian" web site and refused to provide proof of this via referencing any page here that indicated such. This, I find much more offensive than someone talking about sex.<P>I really don't care if [censored] is a Christian or if he is offended by some of these threads. He certainly doesn't have to read them. But, he insists on checking them out because he has appointed himself a "morality policeman" for this web site. I find this absolutely sickening.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>but as a member of MB, I am exercising my right to say 'enough is enough'<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Just what the heck is this? I am tired of liberal politicians and reactionary religious nuts telling me how I should live my life. I went to church years ago and learned enough to realize that Christ would not have reacted as [censored] did. Jesus realized that he couldn't enforce his morals and will on other people. He had to "Plan A" everyone and make what he said attractive and palatable.<P>I totally respect [censored]'s feelings and beliefs, but when he decided to impose these on the rest of us, he went 'way across the line.<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I have now seen this member insulted, mocked and ridiculed, simply for stating his beliefs.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>I cannot believe you said this. In the words of Dr. Phil, "What the he!! were you thinking?" He went a lot, lot further than simply stating his beliefs. I have always thought that his postings were worth reading. Many times dripping too much religion, but, you know, whatever it takes to comfort someone is OK with me. I have lost all respect for him at this point. He is simply just another Jerry Falwell who wants to force me to live my life to his standards. I will not do that.<P>If Steve reviewed the posts and found them in violation of the board standards, that is one thing. But we don't need some busybody running around "policing" the board reporting anything that doesn't meet his personal standards.<P>I apologize for running on about this, but I believe that this kind of imposition of standards is more dangerous to society than almost anything else we face. Religious fanaticism will drive us back into a "Dark Age", just like it did a thousand years ago. Jesus taught tolerance and acceptance and forgiveness. [censored] did not practice that here.<P>--DeWayne--<P>BTW, I never posted on any of the "sex" threads, but I did read them and found them very amusing and mood-lightening. Most of us around here are adults and these types of expressions are natural.

I do not agree with the way in which this situation was handled. I feel going to the MB administrators was WAY out of line, especially at how quickly it occurred. However, I am not going to condone members flat out bashing the beliefs of other members expressed within this forum. That takes up back to the issue of freedom of speech and censorship. And although a member does not approve of everything that was posted out here, he has EVERY right to voice his displeasure. As does anyone else. But that could have simply been addressed in this thread alone.<P>I am a firm advocate of “if the title doesn’t interest you, then don’t read it” philosophy. I also do not mind the ‘lurkers’ who will read the threads, but don’t feel like adding to them. Learning something new or even getting a laugh out of these posts is great. But I do have a problem with those who will lurk, don’t contribute, then tattle or pass judgment when they finally read something they don’t like, especially on a forum which does not have a moderator. But I’m not going to bash the person publicly because of it. That makes me no better than him/her. In fact, it could be considered worse because I would be intentionally inflicting my views directly toward one person.<P>I just saw some of these responses turning rather ugly and I didn’t like it. At least our ‘fun’ was not meant to offend anyone directly, and if it did, several of us have apologized already. But coming out and bashing someone DIRECTLY just because we don’t agree with their opinions or actions is no better.<P>I don’t want to have any personal battles on this forum. There are certain members whose views I don’t agree with and there are other members that I just don’t like. With these members, I choose not to associate. It’s just that simple.<BR> <BR>

I had hoped this thread would die a rapid death!<P> I love you all!<P><BR>Bill

can we please just be friends.........<P>I have enough going on in my life without having to worry about you guys too.......<P>Now, everyone shake hands, and agree to disagree.........<P>And [censored], come back here now.........

"Now how many of the people on the entire MB site (all forums) can say THAT? I know for a fact, that some of the members in this thread alone cannot."<P>Yep, I cheated on my H. However, my ex betrayed me in ways that are much worse than me sharing my bed with another man for one night. I find it absolutely laughable that people think that being a loving husband/wife involves ONLY fidelity. <P>I see people who are completely faithful (sexually) to each other, yet betray each other in big ways and small every freakin' day. <P>I also find it ironic that people who were "faithful" in their marriages seem to feel they have license to engage in any kind of behavior they want following their spouses infidelity/divorce, then wave around a big sign saying "I was faithful". Doesn't mean a thing to me. My first husband slept with over 20 women in our marriage, yet HE treated me better in many ways than my so-called "faithful" second husband. <P>You can chastise me all you want. It wouldn't be anything I haven't heard before. <P>So, IMO, when people who are freshly (or not quite) divorced come here and share sexually explicit stories or have quickly run off with someone new, I certainly do question whatever attachment they had with their ex. I'm more likely to believe that their ex's affair was a convenient "out" for the so-called betrayed, so they could come here and play or find someone new. The people I've talked to who are genuinely distraught by their divorces (whether "betrayed" or "betrayer") don't tend to engage in this behavior.<P>I honestly have no idea how devoted anybody was to their marriages. All I see is what I read. Talking sex with complete strangers doesn't leave me with the impression that one's divorce has been terribly life-changing. On the other hand, there are plenty of people who don't believe that divorce SHOULD be terribly life-changing. Oh well.

As I said.....<P>Everyone has the right to their own opinions.

Wow,<P>I didn't know God had the time to come in here & slam us. The world must be in better shape then I thought...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again