I was wondering if anyone has actually gotten back with their 'Ex' after the divorce? My Ex and I have been divorced now four years this past April and are now living together again (1 mo.) and working through all the pain of the divorce. We were together for almost 12 years and have known each other almost 17 years. I know this must sound like I'm off my rocker but has any one else been in a similar situation??

Wow, I've heard of couples getting back together. How did it happen? I think it's really interesting. Can you share any details?<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

yes, i have friends that know people who have done the some, plus i know one couple that remarried just for the kids, then when the kids left the house, divorced again.<P>I also know of a couple that switched, the wives traded husbands, or the husbands traded wives, which ever way you want to look at it. and that was in my town!<P>i also know three men whose wives left them for women, all in my town.<P>I also know that my town is typical new england. so <B> ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! </B><P>WIFTTy<BR>

Lady Topaz,<P>Congradulations!!!!!! thats really great! I`m so happy for you both..! <P>I, my self, would love to hear how your re-kindling came to be, after 4 yrs.. if I`m not being too nosy, can you give us all some insight on your success story?<P><BR>thanks for sharing the great news.. and again.. lots of luck...<P>AV<P> <BR>

A guy I know is living with his x wife for what maybe 2-3 yrs now. They were divorced and she was living with her om when they separated and she went back to her x.

Ok, lets see...where do I begin?? When we were still married we were going through a really rocky time. It got so bad that I moved out and filed for legal separation. Then we both started seeing other people instead of working on our relationship. The fights got worse and eventually after a year our divorce was finalized. Then for two years we still fought. I ended up in counseling and thank God for the counselor that I had. She made me realize that I still loved him. So...I decided to change. Not only for me but for our marriage. We began seeing each other again about a year and a half ago off and on. He would come around for a while then start dateing other women. I just basically gave him the time that he needed. I realized that I had healed from the divorce and all the nasty things that we said and did to each other but he had not. So by example I suppose he began to trust me and our relationship again. I know that he has his faults and little quirks that drive me crazy but all of that combined are part of the person that I love. And believe you me, I am no angel either! But I knew that no other man would know me like he does and I made up my mind that I would make our relationship work no matter how much time it took. Sure, we still have our moments but they are discussions. Nothing like the heated arguments like we used to have. And...so far so good! I've gone back to my Christian roots so to speak. But with a little twist... I "let" him think that he's the king of his house! Works wonders!!

God, I wish you could talk to my wife. <P>That is such a great story. I wish she could see that there is never going to be anyone who will love her as much as I do.<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

Wow, no I don't know anyone, but good luck and I hope it all works out for you and your husband. I dont' think there is anything wrong with it. We grow wiser as we grow older and now you two might have skills you didn't have before. Wishing you the best,Dana<BR>

hi i glad to see that i am not the only one that wants their marriage to work... i am very happy to know that you went back to the christian roots... god bless you and i hope that truly it works out...keep us all posted ....<P>------------------<BR>liz

just had to tell every one, (not to take away from this thread/post) but, I heard some one call in on the radio this evening, on the way home fro work, and he dedicated a song, (the back street boys- "the shape of my heart") to his EX-WIFE, and stated that he wanted her back in his life again.. <P>my daughter turned to me, and said, she must have left him?? LOL! (she`s 12) (sharp kid!)<P>Any way, It is so nice to hear some good going on, for a change! isn`t it....!?<P>I just felt a need to share that with all of you..! <P>AV<P>

Funny this topic should come up.<P>I have been divorced several months now. I moved to Washington DC and began my life over. (small town girl moves to big city. My therapist said probably only 1 percent of the people in our town would even consider moving to a city where they knew no one by themselves. I guess that I am proof that you can survive)<P>Anyway Ex came for a visit around Halloween. Over lunch one day we discussed what went wrong. And the question of getting back together came up.<P>My ex is all for the idea. He is lonely and hates cooking for himself and is very depressed. <P>While life for me has not been all roses, I am not ready to go back to that. I know that this soon we will fall back into all of the issues that we had before. We need time to heal and learn about ourselves and meet our own needs and be happy in ourselves before I can even consider it. My children can not afford to be drug through this emotional turmoil more than once in their lives. <P>So I guess what I am saying is that in a couple of years when I have seen how he comes out of this I may be willing to consider it. But now loneliness is not enough.<P>My only problem is that I can not find the words to tell him. I do not want to hurt him any more than I have to. He and I still have to be friends or friendly for the children.<P>terentia

Lady Topaz,<P>It is great that you are trying to work things out together.I just became a Christian this year after my husband left. We are not divorced yet and I pray we will not be divorced. I believe God will restore our marriage. The church I attend has several of couples that have gotten back together after divorce or near divorce. All have good marriages now. I have ordered and used books from a restoration site and they have really shown me Gods will for marriage. Good luck with your marriage. <BR>gentle

Hi Lady Topaz,<P>what a great story. I'm very happy for you.<BR>I'm sure you both deserve it.<P>I'm 2 weeks off being divorced, still don't know how I really feel about that, but he wants his freedom to continue with this new life of his, so, divorce it is.<P>Your story gives me hope. This divorce is something that I never wanted, and never ever imagined myself going through. However, it has made me look at myself, with critical eyes, and made me work on me. Made me accept my faults, and do something about changing them. But at the same time, this has made me realise that I AM OK, I'm not that bad........<P>Who knows what the future holds, I certainly don't. I've had my tarot read 3 times in the past year and a half, and all have said that we'll reconcile. Can't see it myself, however, I never discount anything.!!!!!!<P>All my very best wishes to you and your H<P>

[QUOTE]Originally posted by gentle:<BR>[B]Lady Topaz,<P>Where is the site for restoration? I can still use all the help I can get!!! <P>Everyone,,,,thanks for the words of encouragement. They mean so much. Now if only my family could see the 'good' side of what we are trying to accomplish. My mother is very controling, which was some of our problems in our marrige and I let her, but now it's come down to choosing my family over repairing my marriage. But I decided that in the long run, I need to make decisions that make me happy and live my life how I want. Not how someone else wants me to. <P>Question....Is the divorce process too easy today? I think that the courts should mandate a cooling off period along with counseling. Maybe then a lot of marriages could be salvaged. Any thoughts???<p>[This message has been edited by Lady Topaz (edited November 19, 2000).]

Lady Topaz,<P>This is the site I go to for encouragement <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> I have the book workbook and a friend let me borrow four of the tapes.<BR>Yes divorce is too easy but so is getting married. Our church will not marry anyone in the church unless they go through one year of marriage classes first. We have all been taught the wrong things about marriage. This site is based on Gods word and will for marriage. A few years ago I would have rejected this book because it is so different from what the world teaches us. I truly want my marriage restored and I believe God led me to this site.There are a lot of testimonies about restored marriages even after divorce. I hope it helps you as much as it has me.<P>In Him,<BR>gentle<p>[This message has been edited by gentle (edited November 19, 2000).]

In the state that I was living in, it was too easy. We filed and a month later we were divorced.<P>Terentia<P>

In Australia, we have to be separated 12 months and one day. On the 'one day' we can file.<P>I have often wished while going through this that I lived in the States, and could get a divorce so quickly.<P>But now I see the benefits of having to wait. It still hasn't changed our situation however, with the emotional rollercoaster I have been on, at least I'm sure that now I have no other option. And that decision has been arrived at with clarity, time, and common sense. <P>He doesn't want our marriage, or our family. He has had a year to try and find himself, and sort out what he wants. He has decided. So onwards and upwards. It can only get better from here.<P>I wish you all the very best, and me too....<P>(tee hee)<P>hugs to you