New here and blue to.<P>This is my least favorite time of year. X announced he wanted D. This is the time of year D was granted. This is the time of year the weather changes and the days get shorter.<P>Am I the only one who feels as if they could die from a case of terminal autumn?

Yes, I'm not sure I'll ever like this time of year again.<P>At least she didn't ruin spring, summer & winter as well <P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

I still love autumn, it's Valentines Day for me. But I know what you mean. This year, it's kind of difficult to find a lot to be thankful for. I mean, I can think of a list, my heart just isn't in it.<P>{{{{{Bleubell}}}}}<P>{{{{{Nick}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

my ex left me, thanks giving day, 98.. it is now going to stay a constant reminder and a bad memory for a very long time to come.. for both me and our daughter.. <P>you would think I would be over this already.. but I`m not.. <P>AV<BR>

How many holidays did he mess up?<P>It was right between Halloween and Mid-November when x first mentioned D. That gets Halloween. <P>Went to court just before Mid-November.<P>Have to share d on Mid-Nov. bday.<P>He gets children for T'giving weekend.<P>His Bd is 2 weeks before Christmas and I have to buy him a &%#$ing gift from the children.<P>Last Christmas he was home, I didn't get a single gift that was just for me. <P>Children leave mid-day on Christmas and don't come home till evening of New Years Day. <P>Judge signed D papers Dec. 22.<P>We got married Valentine's day. It was in Feb that he said he had seen a lawyer.<P>His name is the same as that Irish day in March.<P>We collected Rabbits. There goes Easter.<P>Then, decree requires that we alternate major holidays but doesn't specify what they are so I have to offer some along the way. <P>Yeah, there's father's day.<P>Then, to be difficult, he moved out 3 days after my birthday. <P>Damn, I hate the (insult parental insult here - and go ahead and insult both parents).<BR>

I have to agree with a lot of this.... H just moved out a week ago... t-day a big day for our family. Christmas even bigger. Can't even figure out how to handle either without him. I feel sooooooooo alone even with 3 other people living in my house. Right now I find it so hard to be around people/couples who are planning Christmas parties and family gatherings.. Just feel like I have lost mine.

Hi friends --<P>I guess I can join the chorus of the holiday blues! This will be the first Christmas that I'm alone with my children.<P>Last Christmas was a disaster...the Cdn. Thanksgiving (in Oct.) wasn't too bad because the boyfriend was still in the picture (rocky though things were!). I managed to roast a decent turkey and make it a pretty nice day for all of us.<P>But Christmas! Ugh!!! My nuclear family has essentially disowned me because of internet guy (OM). I have no idea how my husband (soon to be ex) and I will divvy up Christmas (his OW is heading home to CA for the holidays). I've invited him over, but he has a nuclear family who supports him.<P>I don't even want to think that far. I just want to take it one day at a time.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Take good care, Francis

Well, I survived. Children were gone but it did give me a little time for myself.<P>There's something wonderful about the miracle of surviving all this. Even if you do have to cry a lot.

I guess you could say I survived too. I did alot of "stuff" over Thanksgiving just to keep busy so I wouldn't waste my four days off just sitting around crying. I even made the turkey dinner one day, but it didn't taste the same.<P>Wednesday, 11/22 was the one-year anniversary of me discovering my H's affair. I thought I was going to make it thru the day okay, but after dinner, I sat down on the couch and just burst into tears. That lasted the whole nite. <P>The next three days were okay....nothing exciting, nothing real bad. I'm back at work today.<P>The thing that hits me the most is missing him. I just feel so sad and lonely without him. And this from a woman who lived alone until I was 31! I can spend time with other people, but it's just not the same.<P>I used to love Thanksgiving and Christmas. This year, I just want to make it thru. Maybe next year I'll want to celebrate again...who knows.<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<P>

It's tough at first. Really tough. You can do this. Look how much you've survived this year. Sometimes I still have to go have a pity party and my divorce was final almost 2 years ago. But it gets better. The bursts of really bad come less and less often and they are less and less severe. But i'm still not sure you are ever completely "over it."

I'm new to this board, and not divorced yet, but here's my least favorite holidays:<P>My birthday...also the day we got married. Smart move, huh?<P>July 4th. The day I found pictures of W and the OM.<P>Thanksgiving. This year, she didn't call. The day before, she met with the OM and finally decided to take him over me.<P>Christmas. Every year, we would spend Christmas at someone else's house. My mom's, her grandma's, etc. We always promised each other we would spend one Christmas alone...just me, her, and D. It never happened, and now it never will. Also, this year I will not get to see D open presents for the first time. Due to a little surgery my W insisted on, I can never have another child, so my Christmas's will be sad from here on out.<P>New Year's Day. See, we spent this past one in Las Vegas, where she met OM. New Year's will forever remind me of how, when, and where our marriage ended.<P>Oh yeah, and October 25th. Her birthday. She chose to spend it in Vegas, with OM.<P>I think Columbus Day is still okay!

I heard this wonderful story. It was about a man whose wife wanted children but he didn't. So, he thought it over and decided he could handle one child. So they had a child. Then he had a vasectomy. Then, several years later, they were in a class somewhere but they weren't sitting near each other. The person conducting this class asked people to tell about their deepest regrets. The wife said that she mourned the fact that they would have only one child. Without telling her what he had heard or how it had touched him, he made an appointment to have his vasectomy reversed - out of love for his wife. They now have two or three children.<P>What a man. To love his wife that much. I just hope she deserves him and that they are still happy.