We exchanged Christmas presents early as we are spending the holiday apart.<br>He bought me a landscape painting (an original) by an artist he knows I like. It must have cost about 160 pounds (I don't know what that is in US dollars - approx 1.6x160?). So he put a lot of thought into it. This is in contrast to the birthday present he gave me which was a box of chocolates (something really impersonal)which I found really upsetting.<br>In the christmas card he gave me he said 'Bev, I'm sorry I've hurt you so badly, all I can feel is guilt. Please forgive me'<br>I replied I don't know how much these words really mean, as he is still hurting me by not finishing with the OW, and that I can only forgive him when it is in the past.<br>In the gift tag, he said 'Please me happy at Christmas. Please don't hate me'<br>Do you think he gave me such a gift because he feels guilty, or does it symbolise something else, especially when you compare it to the birthday present (which was just after he started the affair, even though I didn't know it at the time).<br>I bought him a kite, which we had a go a flying, although there wasn't enough wind.<br>He did say he enjoyed himself though.<br>bev

Bev - <p>He obviously put some thought into the gift - yes he is guilty about the whole thing...<p>Where does that leave you? and him? I think it is too early to say... sounds like you both have alot of healing to do before you can even face your marital probs together.<p>Be positive - I know it is the only thing that is getting me through the holidays without my H by my side (we too are separated). <p>Janet<p>