Your story sounds so similar to mine. I admire you for being so courageous. Like you I am having a down time - first holiday since break-up. My STBXH is marrying his OW right after our divorce is final. Did you know your ex was unhappy in the marriage? My STBXH said he was unhappy in the marriage early on in his relationship with his OW (I suspect this made is easier for her to get involved with him) but he never, ever said a word to me about being unhappy. How did your ex tell you he wanted a divorce? Mine, since he lives out-of-state, told me in an e-mail. How are you meeting these nice guys? How are your kids handling your dating? My 11 yo d doesn't like me dating but seems to have accepted her future step-mom fine. Any opinions to explain her behavior? Thanks for listening,

{{{{{{{{{Barrington}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Sorry I didn't see this earlier, I hardly ever go to page 2. <P>A month before my ex left, he THANKED me for sticking it out 11 years. Pulling him thru alcoholism, drug abuse, sex abuse, gambling, basically he is compulsive and obsessive over EVERYTHING.<P>I met him at 16. I thought ALL guys were this way til they grew up. 11 years later, he was trying, but not growing up as fast as me.<P>He thanked me, told me he loved me and would never leave me. What's up with that? A month later he left on xmas day and never came back for much more. I could tell he was leaving for good by him taking his prized possessions, a SONY Playstation and Golf Clubs. I wasn't stupid, but in denial.<P>I didn't know he was unhappy. BUT in hindsight, the signs were all there. And he had all the classic symptoms of a midlife crisis, only he's 27! (I just turned 28).<P>I don't doubt they will marry and it'll be soon. Whatever, I know it will hurt, I know I'll cry, but I am on my own mission! And not to be taken the wrong way. I just know what I want, what I deserve and what I will and will NOT settle for.<P>I've always been strong. This year has almost destroyed me. But its almost over. I also know that I'm getting stronger everyday. If I can just get past XMAS, I'll feel so much better.<P>Feel free to write again Barrington.<P>Hugs, Dana<BR>