Well I just finished doing the dreaded dead of going through the orniments. <bleech><P>I got stuck with this job because I am the one who was in posession. I don't know how many of you all remember me last year posting about putting up the tree...anyhoo...We had a bunch of stuff collected over the past eight years. I took my childhood orniments and split our d's between us. Granted I was not really fair but hey, screw her she wants to no longer be a family, right?<P>I have the stuff for her in a box and I called her to tell her and would you believe she wasn't home! I spoke on the phone to her about an hour ago, she and D just got back from their T-day trip to Va. Apperently she has gone to the movie with LRB...For some reason this really chapped my butt! I feel like burning her box of decorations and putting them in an evelope and telling her to wipe her A** with it!<P>Ok, Ok....so I'm just a bit bitter this second but I know it will pass. I just know it's really nice to be in a place where my feelings are 180 dgrees of where they were last year. EGADS...last year I was totally barganing and trying to get her sorry-a** back! Today I feel the exact opposite.<P>Anyhow, I felt a pressing need to post this, and I thank you for letting me share.<P>I love you all,<P>Bill<BR><P>------------------<BR><P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.

hey I know how you feel. I want to get our tree (the kids and mine) tree next week. I will need to go through the ornaments too. I have ornaments we bought on our honeymoon and some with first christmas on them....yuk<P>My X has not asked for any ornaments...he does not want them..he wants all new stuff. But since he has no money it will be a little hard. He is setting up house with an internet women....the cow.<P>It is funny they leave and we are left with all the STUFF to go through....they do not want to do it. I will be going through stuff all winter...he got mad when I did give him some stuff and asked why he couldn't store some stuff here with me..irk..<P>Going through all the STUFF brings little memories and I can only do a little at a time.<P>Hang in there....you are the better person!

Hi Bill & M3K,<P>I know exactly what you are going through... last year I had to go through the orniments, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. And, I admit, not all of them made it through the process. <P>Last year I couldn't even put up a tree. This year, I am actually looking forward to finding a little tree for my little livingroom, and starting a new tradition. <P>Later this week, I'll go out to the shed, and pull out the boxes.... put up some lights and see how it goes from there. <P>So, what new traditions would you like to start? I think I'll do popcorn & cranberry strings instead of metalic tensil... I've always liked the charm of an old fashioned tree. <P>B

My new tradition is not haveing to wait for permission to put up the tree...<P>I can put it up anytime I want...<P>But I may get out the food dehydrater and do some apples slices and maybe string them on the tree or around the house..who knows.<P>The challenge will be lights on the front of the house...I am not kean on getting on the roof...<P>Have you seen the grinch movie yet? I need that light gun one of the character uses to put lights on her house...they should market those..LOL

Tree was hard this year... We both started over several years ago and all of the ornaments on the tree we bought together... BUT I KEPT THEM ALL!!! He didn't ask, I didn't offer!! Just my take on things!

Bill,<P>I went thru ours last year and separated HIS from mine and the boys'. I still have them and I'm debating on whether to wrap them up and give them to him or using your destruction idea! LOL LOL<P>My new tradition this year...being able to put the tree up when I want, where I want and how I want. AND this year I don't have to worry about [censored] knocking it over during one of his drunken temper tantrums! <P>Butterfly,<P>One year at Christmas, I sat with bags of cranberries and strung my own! Not an easy task but they look great on the tree!<P>Hugs you guys!<P>Mitzi

WABI x left home saying that, since the children would be living with me, he wanted me to keep the christmas decorations. Well, that didn't last. Decided, when it came time to hammer out a settlement that he wanted something like 1/3 or 1/4 of the things. So, when I got them out the next time, I divided them up. (Now, those had been fighting words and really &!$$7% me off. In fact, part of our final decree spelled out exactly which things he should get - to a certain extent. When my attorney was reading the list, you could hear this soft twitter go across the court room and the judge said, "What is this? Are we fighting over the Christmas decorations?" Truth of the matter is that we were. He lied to me is what it seemed like. But after so many years with the two of us and good jobs, we had accumulated a lot of good stuff. Then, after I worked so hard to sort out what I thought he was supposed to have, I gave it to him and he gave probably half of it to Goodwill Industries - sort of like the Salvation Army. Chapped me but good.)<P>Anyway, you should see my tree this year. There is nothing on it that he has ever seen before. Well, maybe he saw the star on top. New lights. Used gold holographic curling ribbon as garland. It has a mind of its own and swoops and swirls as it winds its way around the tree. Then I put 300-400 origami animals, all folded out of Christmas wrapping paper by my own little hands. Mostly birds, ducks, and cranes. But it is gorgeous. Even if it is mine. However, my children don't like it.

Anybody want to buy about 16 nutcrackers? These were gifts I bought x over the course of our marriage. She didn't take them and doesn't seem to want them. My son loves them though and can't get rid of them. I like them too but don't need them around. <P>I've been thinking about starting all over with the Christmas decorating, all decorating for that matter and make them my decorations. <P>Hang in everybody!!!

To Bill and all the others here... Hang in there!<P>I know how all of you feel. I just haven't wanted to put the tree up this year. I feel like I am doing it alone. Not physically alone, I have been doing that for years, but just alone.... Every year since I was a small child I have always had the tree up the day after Thanksgiving. It was always my own private tradition. Even when living with my father and brother, even if they didn't help, I always had that tree up. I haven't even dug the box of stuff out from the garage yet this year. I know that I should. My son keeps asking me when we are going to do it, but I just haven't seemed to have the strength this year. For those of us with children, we do it for them, even if we don't do it for ourselves. I know this. And I am trying, but I will admit that a small part of me just wishes that the holidays would silently slip by without all of this.<P>Things are not to the point for me where we have had to divide the orniments yet. Soon though... very soon. I have always fancied the idea of being very nice about it and getting him a small tree and placing all of his orniments on it for him in the yard and then when he was watching... gas and a match... I know that is mean, and I have tried to be anything but mean with all of this... but it's getting harder.<P>Hold tight to your family and friends this year! Keep them close in your hearts and thoughts. Use them for your strength! Take care of yourselves!<P>-Java

Hi guys,<P>this is my second Christmas without him. It will be my first as a divorced person, but you know what, I can't wait to put our tree up. I'm excited about it.<P>I bought a lot of new ornaments last year, and I've bought some more this year already.<P>I can't help it, the thought of a Christmas tree, the decorations around the ceiling, the Christmas carols, my two beautiful girls, my family, the fact that I'm nearly through this and it's nearly over, it's a new beginning for me. I've made it this far, and I'll make it even further.<P>This Christmas has almost become symbolic to me. That I can get through the tough times, I can do it with dignity (most of the time..<BR>LOL) I can still have a laugh, and thanks to someone here who inspired me, I did it without the bottle or 'anything' else.<BR>I've never been an alcoholic or a drug addict, but this year, I have to admit, I thought about it..... Anything to take away the pain.<P>Anyway, Christmas for me is about family. If he doesn't want to be a part of our family, that's his choice. I'm sad, but I won't let my sadness affect my children. My two girls will never miss out on the feeling of Christmas. The love and the joy, and the simple pleasures of life. That is what Christmas is all about, to me.<P>I'm happy and excited about putting up our tree, even with the girls 'help'........<BR>I wish each and every one of you some of the excitement and joy that I'm feeling at this moment. We all need it, and deserve it.<P>Please do something that will make you happy<BR>whatever that may be.<P>big hugs and lots of love<P>Jo

This is so cool. <P>I found this great Christmas tree garland at Pier 1 Imports. It's gold and one side is holographic and when light hits it, It sparkles. And I just unwind it around the tree and it swoops and swirls in curls as it goes around. Takes 3 or 4 rolls to do my 7-1/2 foot tree.<P>Get busy everyone!! Those bambinos are waiting on us to take the lead. Yeah, you can moan and groan but, more than likely, you're going to have to do something about this Tree thing. Get off your duffs. Bake some slice and bake cookies. Light some candles. Put on the music. You've got a week or two before the children will get ugly about it so you better beat them too it.<P>I cheat and put my tree up while the children are with their dad then I can do it my way.<P><BR>

WOW!!<P>I didn't expect such responce to my vent!!<P>She hasn't come to get her stuff yet...<P>I talked to her tonight <bleech..cough..vomit><P>She asked if I would put her box on the porch...sure no problem!! Maybe the police benevolent association will think they are a donation or maybe someone will steal them! Wouldn't that be poetic!! LOL<P>Well I just love you guys so much at these times...Thanks! <P>Bill

So, did she show?<BR>

Well...as it turns out I forgot to put the stuff on the porch for her to pick up...<P>Saturday she came to the house to get it...I didn't invite her past the foyer nor did I carry the box the car for her...<P>I know it was a bit ungentlemanly of but I was very polite and civil...My actions never betray my thoughts....<P>Bill

Gee, this my first Christmas in nearly 21 years without my husband and we too have a lot of ornaments we should be divving up.<P>He's not made mention of any of them; he and his new love seem to want everything new.<P>Meanwhile, IG and I are planning the same-old Christmas here for the four of us. I figure the children have enough to deal with without trampling on their Christmas as well.<P><P>------------------<BR>Take good care, Francis

Doesn't it just gaul you that they can screw up your life and the lives of the children then go out and buy everything new while you have no money for essentials?<BR>