well, I hope some of you are familiar with my story, but I have been separated for 1 month now, in process of divorce. stbx blew me away with alot that happened around separation time, It confirmed a lot of things for me , such as he has been very unhappy as well, knew it was a marriage of convience etc. Had heard rumors of him and another woman having spent time together (dont know how far it went ) when we thought we were on the road to reconciliation in august. I am not hurt, just angry I put so many years into a marriage, when I knew it was dead. We have been in counseling individual and joint for 10 months on and off. Have heard many rumors about this woman , who is a friend of mine also, being at his apartment a lot! well, he took the kids to new york for Thanksgiving weekend, he was sleding, but felt the need to make a phone call to her long distance on his cell phone.<BR> The call sounded like this " Hi hon, how are the lizards doing?" I said what lizards<P>he said the lizards , are they doing ok?<P>I said hello bill.....who were you trying to call?<P>he said .....uhm.............paula<P>I said, you obviously dialed wrong because this is your wife. Now he calls and says he is having second thoughts. Any suggestions?<P>

ooops,<P>I'm sorry, I know it's not funny, but you should have played him along...<P>"The Lizards are fine, they'll make a lovely handbag"<P>Sledding & cell phones just don't mix.<P>Seriously, I don't know what to say about his second thoughts. Maybe the fog is lifting? That's a tough one.<P>nick<p>[This message has been edited by c00ker (edited November 27, 2000).]

Well, so much for second thoughts, after calling him last nite, and asking what he meant........ I told him he needed to give me money to pay the bills, he said he didnt think so, he would just pay the bills. I told him no, that I would since I always have and my attorney advised me to continue,I also told him when he went out of town he left me with absolutly no money, and that I didnt eat the weekend. I said it wasnt legal for him to leave me without any money, he yelled, "I didnt abandon you", I said " I never said you did" and he said this conversation is over.Well when he says a conversation is over, he means it, and once again he thinks he can control and manipulate the situation. I did not think it was possible for him to be even less emotional than when we were married, but I guess I was wrong!!!!!!!!! I told him I would have to file then to get court ordered money . <P>You cant imagine what I had to do to get any information out of him. I am so torn between <BR>realy getting nasty and still trying to just get this over with smoothly, I dont know what to do. I truly dont care who he is seeing, or for how long, our marriage was in such trouble a long time ago, I am not sure either of us cared. <BR>I am getting depressed, so I have decided to get out of the house and not be here all the time. I guess when I need to buy things I will just use my credit card...screw the consequences, it is in my name, but I have no option. I need to state that I would rather be all alone in this world than to ever share another house with that man, I hate him.

Nikki,<P>Sorry you are having to deal with all this. Doesn't it seem a strange coincidence that he is having second thoughts after he is caught? <P>Protect yourself, file for at least a legal separation if you are not ready for a divorce.<P>Hang in,<P>Bob<P>