HI All,<BR> I'm not sure if there's anyone here who remembers me but... I guess we're all brothers and sisters in this MESS together!! <BR> <BR> Anyway, for those who don't here's a quick update. W and I divorced after 15 years. She left for a 61 year old man (I'm 45 W 48 today!!) <BR> <P> We were divorced July 7th, this year. She MARRIED OM EIGHT DAYS LATER..... <BR> <P> Well, you would think that this is the end of the story BUT.... A week after she Married, our dog of 15 years died. Actually, I had to put him down. We bought him on our HONEYMOON, funny thing, he stopped eating THE DAY SHE GOT MARRIED!! Weird huh??<BR> <P> She called to console me and from that point on started calling more and more over the next three months until she was calling 3-4 times a day!!<BR> <BR> She'd call and tell me about our grown kids about our new Grandson about work and just about ANYTHING. We talked for HOURS EVERY DAY!! <BR> <P> We even talked a LOT about US. I told her about this great place and how much this helped me and how I understood so much more now. How we had loved each other deeply but didn't have the "tools". She cried and said she wished we had had the tools.<BR> <P> She cried and said "We are supposed to be drifting apart and we're not!"<BR> We got all the way to her saying that she KNEW that we would be together again someday. I even sent her a nice card on our EX anniversry and it had the "Soul Mate" thing in there (Yuk but hey it DOES fit for us!!) She agreed that we are Soul Mates and that was the only explaination for why we STILL are getting along so well.<BR> <P> Well, at first Im was angry that she wouldn't let me "move on" kept asking if I was dating etc... NOW the last three weeks she's only called once a week. All of a sudden, five times a day HOURS EVEY DAY to ONCE a WEEK for 10 minutes!!!<BR> <BR> Well, I'm mad at myself now because I got used to her calling and waking me EVERY morning with a cheerful hello. I mean, it brightened my day!! I even started seeing her with my GS once or twice a week! (I never touched or kissed her because she's MARRIED!!) Other than the time she crawled up on my bed and I told her to "Get the hell off my bed!!" I told her "Don't you realize how many times I dreamt of you o my bed" It's TOURCHER (sp?) She cried so we held each other for a LONG time!!<P><BR> Anyway, I'm just blowing off steam! Hope all is getting better around here!!<BR> GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK

It's almost like they don't want you, but can't let you go! I am separated but living something similar to what you describe. At first no contact unless needed, then all sorts of contact. Then when you finally respond they back off again? Tell me if I have this right? I am a poor source of advice right now... and looking more for advice than anything. And glad to have you back!

Frank...<P>Great to hear from you.<P>Your X must be driving you nuts with this behavior...<BR>...but in most cases it's bound to happen.<P>I'll be honest with you...<BR>...it won't happen with my W.<BR>...hatred runs deep with her.<P>I really think when my W signs the divorce papers... I'll be into a full-blown Plan B...<BR>...and the no contact will turn into a permanent no contact.<P>Post every once in while...<BR>...it was good to see a familiar face... voice... word... whatever!<P> <P>Jim

Frank,<P>I was glad to see your name on the board this AM....I don't have time to respond just wanted to sat hi....<P>I'll try to reply later.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR><P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.

Whew! I was worried it was something new.....thank heavens it's just you and your female whack-a-doodle! (I KNOW Sheba would agree! LOL)<P>OK, so you already know what I think and I don't have to say it again.<P>Love you, Frank. Hope you have a great Thanksgiving!!<P>Lori

Of course I remember you! I always wonder where people have got to when they stop posting. <P>Hey, maybe it's not too late for you and your W to reconcile. Maybe it took getting married to and living with the OM to blow the fog away. Do you still have hope? It sounds hopeful to me!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

Frank,<P>It is so hard when you love someone who does not know what "they want" in life. Just know that nothing is forever and love can conquer all. Not sure where your situation will lead you, but in whatever direction it does, know that you will be fine.<P>On a sadder note, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dog. It is kind of crazy to say, but I don't know what I would do without my best friend right now. My W has been gone for about 8 months and I can't tell you how comforting it is to know that when I come home there is a happy "person" there waiting to greet me - smile on his face and tail wagging away. Anyways, it must have been tough on you - sorry to hear.<P>Mike

Hi Frank,<P>Of course I remember you. I just cannot figure out whether to congratulate you on your W's changes or console you about her most recent behavior. <P>Wanna, bet her new H found out about the calls? <P>Keep in touch and God Bless,<P>JL

Just Learning,<P>-----------------<BR>"Wanna, bet her new H found out about the calls?"<BR>-----------------<P>Excellent point!<P>Something to consider why the phone calls suddenly dropped off.<P>Mike

THANKS TO ALL!! <BR>blindsided123<BR> Yes, it's a cat and mouse game!! The are in a "Fog" and when it lifts, we see them for a moment. Good luck!! I'll be praying for you!!<P>HI Jim,<BR> Yes, COMPLETELY NUTS!! She backed WAY off before the D but... that was when her Father was dying too so....just when I thought it was safe to go in the water again.... LOL!!<BR> Hey Jim, remember the opposite of Love ISN'T hate, it's indifference.... Good to see your voice my Friend!! Hang TOUGH! It's not over until the.... Praying for ALL (let me say that now!!)<P>Hey Bill where are you?<P>Lori,<BR> Ya, she's getting a degree at whack-a-doodle U!! I love you too (but you knew that ) <P>Bellevue,<BR> How are you?? Do I have hope?? Do the warrior princesses have hearts?? God help you, you think just like me!!! Yes, she even recently TOLD me we would be together again someday. Also said (before D) "You wouldn't BELIEVE the hole I've dug myself THIS TIME" I told her my "Goal" was to NOT have a lot of things to "Have" to confess WHEN we get back together. I want the answer to "Did you sleep with .." to be NO, NO and NO. I'm not sure I can, but unless I get hit with a "Thunderbolt" (Did you see the Godfather?) I should be able to pull it off. And if I do, then, it may be God's will. This is in his mighty hands now, TOTALLY!! I'll look for your posts.<P>SoTired2000<BR> Mike, I'm sorry to hear about your W. I KNOW what you're feeling. When I look back to what I WROTE when mine was gone 8 months, WHEW!! What anger, hurt, confusion, OH MY GOD, it's amazing. I'm shocked that I made it THIS far!! You have a good heart, yes, it was just sooo hard to put Nick down. He was the ONLY thing that's been there consistent in my life over the last 15 years. We had another dog she took with her too. I cried all night the night Nick went. He was VERY old (a mini Schnauzer rarely lives that long) but he always loved to drive in the car. His LAST drive he did manage to hang his head out the window for a minute or two like he loved to. The "Long and Winding Road" by the Beatles was on the radio.... I'll never be able to listen to that song the same way again. It hit me on so many levels. Hey, here's my email address. I might not be able to tell you WHAT to do, but I' pretty good at doing the WRONG thing. Maybe we can figure out your situation together brother... Email me.. (darrt@prodigy.net)<P>HI JL,<BR> Good to hear from you. How's YOUR battle? I'm not sure either. LOL!! Funny thing, one day I went over THEIR house when she was babysitting our 6 month old grandson. I took a bunch of pictures of HIM, ME&HIM W&HIM W&Daughter&HIM 75 pictures!! I gave W (oh ya exW OM'sW whatever.. ) a copy of all of them. Well, when I looked at them closer I noticed in the photos with W&D&GS MY CAR WAS IN THE BACKGROUND!! OOPS.. LOL I really REALLY didn't mean to honest!! OM must have noticed huh?<BR> Another time I was there, I smoke so I asked her where to throw my butts outside and she said "Just leave them there" (on the front porch) She just LEFT them there like she WANTED to get caught???? I kicked them over the side on my way out. She once told me that OM told HER that she acted different whenever she saw me. Cold or distant or quiet. So, you're probably right. HE KNOWS better than ME what to look for RIGHT? <BR> THANKS ALL AND GOD BLESS,<BR>GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK<P><BR> <P>------------------<BR>desperate<BR>"If yesterday didn't stop today, Why should TODAY stop tomorrow??" <BR>"Wisdom is why!!"<P>