STBX is moving out tommorrow. She will be here in a bit to pick up our daughter for her visitation. I wonder what, if anything, she will say. She has been committing adultery and is pushing for the divorce. Since this is the second time around with the same man (she never really stopped), I'm ready for the divorce. Currently, the tentative divorce agreement is what I want. Time ought to teach her the lesson she needs to be taught. The OM is a womanizer. He cheated on her while she cheated on me. I was beginning to feel a little apprehensive, so I'm writing this and sipping on a beer. Any thoughts from the group?

So, she's leaving you for a man with whom she was cheating. And she knows that he was cheating on her while their affair was going on?<P>I hope she's not a brain surgeon or a therapist or a minister.

I had some equally memorable anniversaries. For our 10th we went to the winter olympics, for my 12th I got pregnant with the first baby, for my 15th I had the second baby, for my 17th I found out he was seeing an attorney, for my 21st I got my final decree.<P>If your stbx is as smart (hah) as you say, I think that you should grab her, kiss her with great conviction, and tell her that you can't thank her enough for what she's done. Getting out so you can get your heart back in shape, your life back together, and move on.

I'm so sorry. What a mess. No advice, just sympathy. Do you have full custody of your D? I hope so. She needs someone decent to parent her.<P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

Cinderella - She is a registered nurse who is an almost bible thumping Christian. She has grown more religious over the last couple of years. She has been in my face with her baptism certificate and parroted everything that the church taught her each Sunday. She basically belittles me because I don't believe as she does. She's setting a great example of a Christian, right? She is incapable of independent thought. She is a follower. I think she's been praying for everything to work out rather than doing the right things to make them work out. She simply won't give the OM up. I guess it "feels so right." Fantasyland. From her behavior, he's been coaching her some. Some of her behavior is totally new and her own. I basically believe in God and an order to the universe, but not Christ. This has been a major issue for her. I believe I have very sound morals. My beliefs are solidly based upon my own knowledge and experience. I will believe as someone else does if they can convice me. I am an extremely logical person. She is an extremely feeling person. I've tried everything possible to keep my family together. Logically, it is the right thing to do despite all of the pain I have endured. I admit that I have made mistakes (one reason why I tried so hard and have endured so much), but I've corrected the vast majority of my behavior. She has done nothing. When we were asked about moral and religious training in mediation, I replied that I will take care of the moral training and she can take care of the religous training. She didn't like that much. I quickly apologized for my untimely quip, but I said it is what I think. She is a slow learner. She's not stupid, but it takes a long time for things to sink in. She has to study a great deal to make the grade. Understand?<P>When she was here last night to pick up our daughter, she almost cried and wanted to talk. I stated that I am extremely happy with everything in my life except for my relationship, but that will take care of itself in time. I stated that I only wanted to talk about matters of divorce and our daughter. She basically wanted to talk about why we just wouldn't work out no matter what and that she thinks she is going to be more happy. I suppose clueless has a new meaning now. The topic of our 10th wedding anniversary never came up. I suppose that irritated her too. She seemed very put off that I'm moving on. It is starting to sink in with her, but knowing her, it will take years.<P>Bellevue - We will have joint custody with me as the primary custodian. I'm in Texas so joint custody is presumed. It would be a long uphill battle for full custody with little benefit. I will have all of the legal ground necessary to properly raise our daughter. I figure my STBX will snap out of it in a year or so and a joint arrangement will better benefit our daughter. If not, my daughter is protected. I am very pleased with our agreement when it comes to custody and finances. My STBX simply wants out with the least amount of problems.<P>

Hi fo1,ho0<P>I'm very sorry she's putting you through this. Sounds like she's definitely withdrawn and in the fog. It's really sad to watch them throw it all away....<P>Just a thought....<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again