Thank you to Country Guy, rtn2, and NSR. <P>My husband and I both have openly discussed divorce, he even moved out for 3 weeks at one point. We have had good conversations and bad conversations while discussing what we should do. I believe that neither one of us blames eachother. I honestly believe that my husband has an extremely difficult time with communication. On numerous occasions we will be sharing ideas on how to get back on track and the conversation will end because he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Right now we are simply roomates. Nothing more! We have not been close since October. <P>I have a few books, the infamous "He says, She says", by Lillian Glass and "What You Feel, Words Can Heal", by John Grey. <P>I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I am going to school for psychology. I have only 32 credits to graduate with a BA. I have tried things in the book, tried things that I learned in college, tried friends advice, to no avail. <P>Plan A sounds like it could work, but we did try separating before (3 weeks). I was the one who asked him to please leave, for very practical reasons. Things were very ugly here and I was extremely stressed out. When he came back he said, "we will have to do whatever it takes." So, I make and solicite suggestions. We can't agree on anything!! <P>Plan A also says patience, time, and consistency. Sounds exactly like what children need, adults too! <P>I would like to read "His Needs, Her Needs". I will order it as soon as I get the money. <P>Right now I am still overwhelmed with all that is going on; kids, husband, school, work, housework, etc. <P>Lastly, my husband does care, because he bought a few videos about how to spice up our sex life. I was shocked because he thinks our marriage is failing because of our sex life. I simply told him that I thought that was very nice of him but why would we start trying to work on our sex life if we don't have one at this point. Right now, I have an extremely hard time even thinking about sex with him. I feel so distant. The first nine quotes in the article, "Why Women Leave Men" are my words exactly. I know that men believe that sex is a way to show love and affection much more than do women, in general. But right now, I don't feel very close to him at all.<P>Again, thank you for your feedback! I can see that I am sounding very negative right now, but that is how I feel. I really don't know if we are going to make it! What does a person do when they feel like they have tried absolutely everything they know????<BR>

When i thought i had tried everything i let the distance grow and eventually i was numb to everything he said did, wanted, i stopped cleaning the house stopped fighting, and even stopped crying. When he asked if i wanted to separate.....i said yes. <BR>I thought earlier this year after finding out my daughter had been abused, that leaving him was the wrong thing to do. But it wasn't. You know what my "husband" said to me when i finally told him what had happened to our daughter???? He asked me to give him oral sex. Isn't that demented???<BR>Can you imagine how lonely i would of felt if him and i were still living together and i was counting on him for support? Probably suicidal!<BR>Leaving him gave me the chance at a life.<P>My point, YOU will know in time the proper thing to do at the time you are ready to do it.<P>GOOD LUCK!!!