Tried for years to reach her and she doesn't want me.<P>We have kids so I don't want to do anything that would put custody in question.<P>I am in PA. Is it better to move to another room or out to an apt ?<P>On another note. Where do I begin to seperate (and further) if needed ?

What really is your situation?<P>I mean you say you've tried reaching her for years..... how?<P>What are the ages of your children? <BR>Have they talked to you or your wife about the tension? ...is there tension? What is she telling you? <P>Certain life circumstances aren't always the easiest to get through.<BR>Patience is not always easy exspecially when hopelessness sets in.<BR>

2dedicated,<P>I've read some of your stuff over on the EN thread. I would like to clarify something. When you say PA, do you mean Physical Affair or Plan A? I think many people think it means affair, but I think you meant Plan A. <P>What I have seen when I look at your stuff on the EN board is that you are trying very, VERY hard to save your marriage, and you feel like your W does not care one bit for you. So right now you feel unappreciated, unloved, and tired of trying, right?<P>Here's my thought. First, do you know what your EN's are and can you verbalize them in a non-critical way? Second, have you taken time in your Plan A to nourish yourself? Third, do you really want to give up, or just rest? Giving up could be permanent.<P>I realize I could be way off base here, but you may want to just go into cruise mode for a while. What I mean is that sometimes, in this journey, we are learning and moving forward and making progress--but that expends a lot of energy. Sometimes we need to stop, nourish ourselves, and rest. I have to keep hitting myself over the head on this one! But just because you stop and take care of yourself doesn't mean that you're losing ground and falling behind. It just means that you are replenishing what is missing.<P>Now, I know you desperately want and miss and long for your W to love you the way you love her, and to put forth the effort for you that you are putting forth for her. Everyone wants to be loved like that. But I think you might need to just stop struggling so hard, rejuvenate yourself, and think of yourself for a while. I'm not talking about being selfish here, but rather, doing some things for you that you know will bring you joy and nourish your soul. Go to a worship service if you are so inclined. Take a walk by the beach or at a park or somewhere beautiful. Get a hug from a friend. Volunteer at a holiday festival. You know!<P>In the meantime, come on back and vent at us whenever you want. God knows we've been down this road a time or two. It is so hard to keep on trying some days, isn't it?<P>You're in my thoughts and prayers,<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Thanks Faithful Wife.<P>I chuckled at myself for using PA and not thinking about all the other meanings for it.<P>I mean Pennsylvainia. While a Physical Affair might be just what I could use there is no desire to jump into that pond.<P>

(Giggling at my computer)<P>Okay--PA! Very funny. With all our little codes around here, sometimes it pays to be literal.<P>So, what do you think? Did you do something just for you yesterday? Have you shifted into neutral and nourished your soul?<P>Here's a little hug to get you started:<BR>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{2dedicated}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR> <BR>and BTW (which stands for by the way, and nothing else--haha), your forum name fits you. You are overly dedicated. It is not selfish to take care of yourself too, so to quote Nike, just do it. Also, BTW, I'm glad you don't want to jump into the Affair pond, because that's a mire. See ya back on the EN forum.<P>CJ <P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.