We are physically, not legally separated. My wife has been seeing several men over the past years. She has denied relationships with them except for one, but I have very strong circumstantial evidence that she has dated at least two simultaneously. <P>I have been very patient, I have not seen anyone else. However, I am at the end of my level of patience. Now the house is sold. I have to move with 45 days. She tells me to move in with her, and that the only thing keeping her from making our marriage work is that she doesn't want to feel like a prisoner, like I'm constantly checking up on her. And that she doesn't want to be around any of our friends who know the situation. Which after 2 1/2 years, is almost everyone.<P>Suggestions? I'm very leary of this arrangement. I have a feeling she's feeling the financial pince and wants me there to help with the bills and babysit while she goes out and parties.<P>Help!

Hi John,<P>Wow, it sounds like you have this one nailed.<P>I think she wants to make the marriage work exclusively on her own terms. That's not really my idea of a marriage. It sounds more like a limited service contract.<P>I certainly would be unwilling to become a source of financial aid & domestic support for someone who didn't want to commit to a relationship with me.<P>Maybe you could get her to go to some counselling. If you can't get her to commit to trying to work on the marriage, maybe plan B will show her exactly what it's like to live completely on her own.<P>Sorry you are going through this. There are lots of folks on this forum with lots of good advice. I'm sure someone wiser than me will chime in here pretty soon.<P>Take care...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again