Okay. For months now, almost a year, I have avoided listening to our song on the radio because I didn't think I'd be able to take it. There were two songs that meant something to me: "Somewhere Out There" (which you don't hear on the radio too often) and "Unchained Melody" (the lyrics start off, "Oh, my love, my darling I've hungered for your touch a long, long time..."). That was my song for how I felt when he left.<P>Anyway, today "Unchained Melody" came on the radio, and I let myself listen to it. Now I'm all weepy. Why does it take such a little thing to totally throw me off track? It's not fair! A little song should not upset me this much!<P>(deep sigh)<P>Well, how long did it take you all to be able to listen to "your song"? I really like that song, but the words just mean too much!<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Faithfulwife,<P>Isn't amazing how a song can trigger such strong emotions? Or even a smell? That is what catches me off guard so much - I mean if I am expecting to hear from my wife or attorney or someone eles about our situation, I can prepare myself emotionally, but what always gets me are those little things that hit you out of left field. The ones that may seem so insignificant to a bystander, but which often may leave me with tears in my eyes!<P>Since we both liked music so much, we have a lot of them:<P>Something That We Do - Clint Black<BR>I Believe in Miracles - The Four Tops?<BR>Brown-Eyed Girl - Jimmy Buffet (Van Morrison)<BR>Any Enya song<BR>Our Wedding song: She's Every Woman - Garth Brooks<BR>Any Xmas song - "oh how great it is to listen to the radio now "<P>----------------------------------<BR>Question back at you:<BR>Do you think that the songs, smells, etc... effect our spouses the same way as they do us?<P>Sounds a little mean, but it would make me feel a little better to know that maybe, just maybe she gets a little upset sometimes and misses the good times of us when she hears a song of ours....<P>Mike

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SoTired2000:<BR><B>Faithfulwife,<P>Isn't amazing how a song can trigger such strong emotions? <BR>Since we both liked music so much, we have a lot of them:<P>Question back at you:<BR>Do you think that the songs... effect our spouses the same way as they do us?<P>Sounds a little mean, but it would make me feel a little better to know that maybe, just maybe she gets a little upset sometimes and misses the good times of us when she hears a song of ours....<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>My wife and I share a 1,000 CD collection... we have the exact same and DEEP Emotional love of music... it was our first "date" sitting on the floor sharing our collection and seeing how many we had in common and how many we wished we had that the other in fact did have...<P>She left them here...<P>My thoughts are when they go snap... they are a different person with different feelings, likes, tastes, etc...<P>Some change only a little, some completely...<P>My wife did a 160* not a complete turn but so close as to be as if I never knew her...<P>It makes plan A and communication very hard because none of the predictable things work...<P>Yet she seems to recall exactly how to push my buttons...<P>PS: I play every sad love song I have over and over and over again...<P>And they ALL have more meaning to them now than they did when I first heard them... THAT is the thing I notice most of all...<P>

Good Point Labix on music having more meaning than before...<P>It seems to me that a lot if not most songs are modern day trajic poetry...<P>I remember listening to Tony Braxton's Unbreak My Heart...Whew!! That one always hurt...<P>Bill

<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>

There are 2 songs that my stbx called "our" songs.<P>Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton...basically about a good woman who takes care of her drunken husband (the story of my life! LOL)<P>and Sweet Melissa, I think by Greg Allman. And that's because Melissa is my real name.<P>Do I listen to them anymore? Only if they come on the radio. It doesn't bother me to hear them anymore but it used to hurt like hell! <P>Mitzi

Thank you, everyone, for your responses.<P>Mike, <BR>I know exactly what you mean. In so many ways my life is really getting together and I'm proud of myself, but even the other night a guy (don't know him, never saw him, just a guy) walked by in the grocery store whereing stbx's cologne, and I had to leave the store! IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT! And I hate to say this, but I do not think that these little things affect my stbx like they affect me, because he WANTS to be rid of me--whereas, I was surprised.<P>Labix,<BR>I also have a deep love for music (stbx did not), so I associate several songs with events--sometimes events that were occurring when the song came on, and sometimes the song has lyrics that are reminiscent of a good memory. I have all the music, and he has the stereo! <P>Bill,<BR>Ouch! I agree with you 100%. "Unbreak My Heart" still breaks my heart. I guess I need to find some new songs!<P>OffOnOnOff,<BR>I'm vaklempt (Jewish for choked up). Hmmmm. I also have a memory associated with this song that go along with the words in a way. One year, he traveled for about two months, plus we were not getting along very well, and when he came home he played this song and we danced. Then when he moved out, it was sort of a song that made me cry, but it expressed how I felt. (tears)<P>Mitzi,<BR>Well, you had some interesting songs! But I did something last night that was a little helpful. I listened to "Unchained Melody" about five times in a row, cried my eyes out, and felt better. I do occasionally want to listen to it again.<P>Thanks everyone!<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.