Well, I finally received my papers.... of course from a husband who didnt want this at all. he listed extreme cruelty , and gross neglect if duty, Whatever!! My attorney said it was just standard words but who knows. I called him to ask him if he had specifically requested the wording in there, he denied it and said it would have cost more money to have it taken out. I cant beleive he took so long, but when you own a business, you need more time to hide as much money as possible.<BR> I have been extremly leniant with visiting, I always ask the kids what they would like, I even let the kids go to their dads last sunday when I had to run errands, Instead of having them here alone. Thanksgiving weekend I was alone for 4 days, It was miserable, and also my daughters birthday. Now he thinks he can have the kids for christmas on Thursday and bring them back on christmas eve at 9 pm. He told me I couldnt stop him. I asked him if he asked the kids what they wanted and he bold faced lied and said it was their idea...... He is such a liar, manipulator. I asked the kids what they thought about going out of town, they knew nothing about it,They were very upset with the idea. He always puts his needs first, and then denies he is doing it. All in all I think the kids are adjusting well, I try to keep all comments to myself or a good friend, when the kids are around.I do not see at all that the kids are being put in the middle, It is hard to admit, but they dont miss either of us when they are with the other, I always let them know when they are gone for the weekend that I have lots to do and I will enjoy myself ( even if I dont ) and I want them to have a ball!!! Well, I am still very angry he couldnt have held out past the holidays, I had no plans to run up charge bills, or steal money. Oh well, he always was a very selfish man. I look forward to starting a new life, is hard after living someone elses dream life for 15 years, when it was not your idea of living! Well, have I rambled enough!!!!<BR>

Not for nothing, but, IMHO I`d have those words of extreme cruelty, etc.. changed... I don`t know where you live or what the laws are there, but if it were me, I would think this could be use against you at some other point and time.. <P>In NY, where I live.. we use either irreconcilerable differences, or abandonment.. (because adultry is too hard to prove!)<P>I`m sorry but that whole thing about cruelty really bothers me.. and I know SOMETIMES, it is the way they word things.. but SOMETIMES, the way they word things can also be held against you later on.. <P>I wouldn`t sign anything I was not 100% happy with.. and thats what I`d tell my lawyer.. <P>this of course is only my opinion.. lots of luck to what ever you decide, though.. <P>AV <P>

N: I'd recommend you do check -- even maybe with another atty.-- about those words so they don't come back to haunt you or cause problems. What a low and crummy move on his part. But this is not news.... <P>However, I can see you are clear about the benefits of the future without this STBX of yours. The guy is a real piece of work! <BR>May you be blessed in the future with much better men, much better people in your life!

nikkilynn2,<P>When I got my papers several weeks back, it had similar wording in it as well - "extreme mental cruelty", "abusive to alcohol" etc...<P>And yes my lawyer and others said it was just legal *ull*hit - that it did not mean anything. That is a crock! It means a lot to me, I don't care what the reasoning is for their inclusion! That is my name and my character there in those papers - and I refuse to go along with bold face lies just to help my wife get "her" divorce.<P>And I agree with wordvixen in that you never know when "those words" will come back and haunt you.<P>Mike