Not sure how to deal with this. My H - is still living here - if you can call: sleeping, eating, and existing - living. He still comes here when he gets off work and stays except when he goes somewhere else. I've asked him to leave, but he says "we are married, we have kids, I'm staying." He's totally uninvolved in life here... This morning, the pipes were frozen - heat tape had been unplugged, by him and he forgot to replug it this fall, and he left for work without even commenting that the pipes were frozen - I wondered WHY he was washing his hair in the kitchen sink???? DUH He left me to deal with the frozen pipes. He's left me to deal with almost everything here at the house.... Yet he says HE WANTS TO STAY????<P>Is there anyone else out there who wonders what the purpose is??? I am so frustrated. This morning - I asked him "How long are you going to 'pretend' everything is okay?" He said, "Pretend?" as if he didn't know what I was talking about. <P>We have four kids - they were avoiding him and ignoring him this weekend - because of what he did last weekend. He claimed he was sick all day Saturday, then Sunday morning rose up perky and feeling wonderful and went to help a 'friend' move. The kids wanted him to do something with them Saturday - then asked if he could do it Sunday. When he left to go help a 'friend' move, instead - they were extremely upset. I didn't add to it - I tried to downplay the problem, but this is the NORMAL way he treats them - something else ALWAYS come before me or the kids. (THAT's the reason for divorcing him - we never come first with him.)<P>WE are moving back into a newly remodeled kitchen - and he hasn't yet lifted a finger - except when my dad was here and took apart the cook stove to clean all the nooks and crannies - my H decided to HELP - but after 15 minutes decided he'd done enough - Dad kept suggesting other parts for him to clean. <P>I'm having a hard time dealing with his apathetic reactions and behaviors. I've filed the papers for a divorce, but due to an unforeseen problem - it may be after the first of the year before I can get it in progress.<P>