If my h denies an affair, and I don't have any proof, after we are divorced am I <BR>sentenced to celibacy to prevent a man from adultry? please advise

I don't get it.<BR>If your divorced and you choose to enter into a relationship of mutual consent and sexual fulfillment unless that man is married...... how is it an affair?????<P>Surely god understands and knows where you are spirtually. <P>A union a solid one is of the mind body and soul is it not?

There was a fairly long discussion along these lines on a GQ post...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/004131.html" TARGET=_blank>FA: I found my bible...</A>.<P> <P>Jim

I am referring to Mathew 5: 32<BR>"But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for maritil unfaithfulness causes her to be an adultress and anyone who marries her commits adultry." I need help <BR>understanding this, seems unfair am I reading it wrong?<BR>

Hi Carol...<P>From <A HREF="http://www.blueletterbible.org/tmp_dir/comm_read/976700710.html" TARGET=_blank>Commentary by DAVID BROWN</A>...<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>32. But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, <I>causeth her to commit adultery</I>--<B>that is, drives her into it in case she marries again.</B> <BR> and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced--for anything short of conjugal infidelity. <BR> committeth adultery--for if the commandment is broken by the one party, it must be by the other also. Whether the innocent party, after a just divorce, may lawfully marry again, is not treated of here. The Church of Rome says, No; but the Greek and Protestant Churches allow it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P> <P>Jim

carol14,<BR>My minister (Methodist) friend sent me a sermon he wrote concerning divorce. To paraphrase, "God is more interested in people than in institutions and marriage is an institution." Jesus loved the Sabbath as a good Jew, but he was willing to do his good works on the Sabbath, even though He broke Sabbath "laws" doing them.<P>In regards to remarriage, it is literal in Matt 19, but how does that compare with Jesus overall attitudes for those others that have "failed" in life. Did he treat those who were sinners as "forever lost" or as persons who needed needed his love and grace.<P>John 4, shows the example of the woman at the well. She is not cast out, she is saved. My friend feels the message is clear here that "Jesus wants to redeem people, help them recover, not isolate them as sinners forever lost."<P>In regards to the Church, he writes, "the Church is the Body of believers in Jesus, it is not the system of rules and regulations. "Each of us will be responsible to Jesus at the Great Day of Judgement, not to church rulings."<P>Hope that explains things from a Methodist minister viewpoint. <BR>

Well, I come from a very religiouly conservative background where rules often mattered more than heart but I see some major problems with that. I have vastly different ideas on some of these issues but feel I'm closer to where I need to be than I used to feel when I was busy following all the rules. <P>So, while I do not profess to be a great learned scholar I will give you my opinion and none of the ministers and counselors with whom I have talked have taken me to task on this stuff.<P>There are those who believe that "adultery" means only physical adultery. Some scholars say that, at the time the scriptures were written, that word did not have such a singular meaning. That it meant the breaking of the marriage bond - which could be done in any of a number of ways. Abuse. Lying. Cheating. I think pornography counts. <P>There are also scriptures that say that, to paraphrase, if you dislike your brother so much that you wish him dead - and I do not take this to mean just a passing thought, I take it to mean with true passion and relish - then you might as well have committed the murder. Therefore, if a man, such as my x, hits the shower with a yen for masturbation and thoughts of the other woman with whom he is 'merely' having an emotional affair, yes, I believe he is guilty of adultery. Because he is denying his wife honor which should be given to her and placing another before her.<P>Now, the rest will not make sense to the totally unchurched but if you care enough to ask Biblically-oriented questions, I will proceed. Again, these are my thoughts.<P>The Bible also says that if someone 'sins against you', you go to them and ask them to quit. If they continue, you take someone with you to ask them to quit. If they still continue, you send the leaders of the church. If they continue still, then they can be treated as an unbeliever. <P>Moving on, the scriptures say that if a Christian should be married to a nonbeliever, they are to remain in the marriage. However, if the nonbeliever should leave, then the believer is no longer bound. And God has called us to peace.<P>Therefore, in my own case, I believe my x was engaged in adulterous living. I talked to him, counselor talked to him, and some leaders of our church talked to him. He didn't care and proceeded to leave our home and continue to pursue a divorce. We did eventually divorce. (And I don't think God cares who files. God cares more about your heart and your walk with him than He cares about what a bunch of papers say.) And, therefore, I am free to remarry. And to do so will not make me, or my husband, an adulterer.<P>God knows who did what and I think we think He's more hung up on some things than is true.<P>Again, I am not a learned scholar but I have been in the same conservative Christian faith all my life. I am neither the most liberal nor the most conservative member although I could be one of the more liberal members of my current church family. <P>These are my semi-informed opinions and I've never been taken to serious task for how they link together. And it would be very hard to get most ministers/priests to ease up on the meaning of "adultery" because it's current meaning keeps so many people under 'control'. To give it a looser meaning would possibly send even more homes into observable turmoil. <P>So take all this for what it's worth. Jane-Elise's opinion.

From the bible's standpoint, if you divorce your spouse for anything other than sexual immorality, you cannot remarry-under God's eyes anyway. However, if your spouse committs adultry and you have proof or strong evidence, then you are able to divorce and remarry-you are no longer bound. Matthew 19 and I Cor. 7. Be spiritual in your decision-ALWAYS!