Today (Dec. 13) would be our 14th wedding anniversary, and it will be almost a year when all this sadness began. Following story is very similar to many one can find on this forum.<P>Dec. 26, 1999: W starts acting coldly. Will not say what is happening. Says it is due to all the Christmas hassle. Stays so for a couple of weeks, silent and distant.<P>Jan. 13, 2000: A day after her graduation ceremony (business management), she tells me she doesn't love me anymore and wants a divorce. I cry more during the following three months than during the previous 30 years. I ask her if she has another guy. She says no and up to now I've no reason to believe differently. We go together counselling but every time she tells me she will not give our marriage a second try. Says she made a mistake and married too young (she was 19 then, I was 33). Says I'm a wonderful person, a very good father (we have two kids, S of 11, D of 9) but she wants to be on her own by now.<P>April 15: She moves out into an appartment we managed to buy. Kids and me stay at our original home. This is the most sensible thing to do as I'm a much more involved parent. In fact, kids always (after she got them)irritated her and she did always the absolute minimum with them and around the house.<P>July 31: We are now legally separated. By our country's law, we can divorce only after one year of legal separation.<P>She is always busy (besides doing evening college, she had also a full-time job during the last 3 years), is doing whatever she wants, but is not happy. She aged 5 years during last years. She thinks she did the right thing and shows no remorse. Says that the kids will be OK, and they are really doing fine, mainly because we always stayed civil, I guess. Says also that God will give me another wife and wishes me well.<P>Most of the time, I feel OK, but sometimes I feel sad, especially during the weekends, when the kids stay with their mom, when she has time. I feel an emptiness inside, a hunger to love and be loved. Until a couple of weeks ago I wouldn't think about divorce and would take her back (after we counselled together, that is) but now I'm not so sure about this anymore. Anyhow, I can't stay this way forever and I'm confused.<BR>Thanks for listening!<BR>SBW
