<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>

OffOnOnOff,<P>Interesting! You have a unique thought there. I must confess, though, that most of the men here are more like my dearest friends and co-conspirators. But, you have a point!<P> <P>CJ<BR><P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

To be honest with you I even thought about joining a divorce support group to maybe find somebody who has been in my situation.<P>So no your idea isn't to far off the wall. (I guess that depends on how far off the wall I am don't it? )<P>Jill

Too many people have started relationships with other MBer's while they were still married...

Well, it was brought up by one MB to me once last summer because she thought it would have a solid foundation of the MB principles, etc.<P>But what about the distance? suppose you were on the east coast, and the other victim was on the west coast? e-dating? could have potential. however, I did join matchmaker.com, new england region, but looking through the people, i never got one that i found appealing. just not quite right.<P>There were quite a few people from the state of Washington here. maybe there was potential with the distance small?<P>Murph, any comments?<P>and I have emailed, phoned and met with some of the delightful people here. But the ones i chatted with are 2000 miles away. but i do know of two that live within 20 miles of my house. I would not be interested in them, though. <P>So let's play devil's advocate. So now, lets say its a go, what are you looking for?<BR>we are faceless, how would you know if the other person was a candidate? what would you go on to tell if the person has potential?<P>WIFTTy

hi Off/on,<P>Interesting question. I think it will most likely be a flame starter!! From what I hear there have been relationships started while marriages were still intact, that probably wouldn't be the greatest idea. <P>As far as two people understanding the concepts and knowing what you have "been thru", sure its reasonable enough. <P>I'll post more later, I'm curious to see what replies we get! <P>

I've seen more than one suggestion for live chat go down in flames because of the propensity for just that sort of thing to happen. Personally, I would think that any "qualified candidate" here would have waaay too much information at his disposal, what with having posted while in the depths of despair (or the bottom of a bottle). Don't think I'd really feel real comfortable with quite that much familiarity.<P>------------------<BR>Bobbie

Sure,I'll comment on this....<P> I tried to get Mitzi to go out on a date with me sometime ago.<P> But,.....SHE turned me down flat! <P> ~~Murph

Well, I'm certainly not offended. <P>I wouldn't right now, because I'm still married and too early in the process to be ready to date. I have a lot more healing to do before I'm ready to jump back in that alligator pit <P>The idea that most of the people here do have a good foundation in MB principles does have merit though. If I ever entered into a long term relationship with someone, I would need for the MB principles to be an important part of building the relationship.<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

Murph,<P>I don't recall being asked out on a date!!! You sure it was me you asked?? <P>Mitzi

Excellent suggestion!<P>For me though:<BR>1. I'm married until the divorce goes through.<BR>2. I need time to heal.<BR>3. She may return from the planet she has fleed to.<BR>4. My children need me to be there for them in this craziness.<P>BUT after a while, a long while, I will be for ready a relationship and would seek a someone, a friend and Lord willing a mate. I would think a woman who posts here and understands herself and understands a man's needs would be an excellent person to contact. I would stay very far away from the personals in the paper and internet. I would not date someone who I didn't think I would want to marry.<P>For now, I'm happy with me and my children and will wait for God to work things out. I won't worry about what my life will be like or who I will have a relationship with. I'm enjoying His attention. <P>For those who are free and ready, God bless you all.<P>B

Hi -<P>I think its a thought that crosses many people's minds, but not in a real sense - that seems like it would be disaster waiting to happen. And does seem like two "damaged" people in similar circumstances would have a far greater likelihood for failure, seeking a relationship when both need extra support and understanding.<P>But some things that reading all the posts here have done for me as far as forging a new relationship have been:<P>1. Helps restore my faith that more men are decent than not;<P>2. Gives me a male perspective;<P>3. Provides a better understanding of the qualities in men that I view as essential, and traits that I must have in my mate. <P>4. Reinforces that I wasn't alone in the problems I had in my marriage, that it wasn't all my fault that things happened as they did.<P>From reading these posts, I know I'm not dreaming that I will be in a great marriage again. <P>

No one anywhere near me - several hundred miles. Even if Mr. Right was on the boards, he's not in the area geographically. So, for me, it's not at all a realistic possibility. Besides, I've already been one person's rebound relationship and I have no desire to do that again.

It's an interesting thought, OOOO.<P>I too live in the Pacific NW, Western WA ... and if I was single (which looks like pretty soon) and after I have healed, I would most definitely find interest in a man who is WELL VERSED in the MB principals.<P>Jo