I would like to run very far away.<BR>I would like to have a fantastic day.<BR>I would like to know when it all ends.<BR>I would like to know if he'll ever bend.<BR>I would like to feel no more pain.<BR>I would like to feel no more shame.<BR>I would like to see the choices i made,<BR>maybe someday sitting under the shade.<BR>I will have all my answers come.<BR>But for right now, i'll settle to run.<P><BR>Everyday presents new challanges and i feel the doubt and anger. But i'm the way that started it.<BR>I feel a HUGH loss.<P>This past year has been the absolute worst in my life!<P>Sometimes i feel like i know what to do, and other times i can't focus, breath or even get out of bed to take a shower.

What a nice verse, and rings true for so many of us.<P>I get tired of not knowing what the future holds for me, and knowing that I'm on my own again.<P>It's a slow process, but large wounds never heal quickly.<P>I'd like a fantastic day too. I know I'll have one, I just hope I'm smart enough to recognize it when it happens, 'cause it probably won't be what I'm hoping for or expecting, but that won't make it any less fantastic.<P>Take care...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

hey looking ahead, <BR>I would just like to say that there is no better healer than time! But, for right now, all you can do is get through each day. Your name says it all. Self-fulfilling prophecy says that your gonna make it just fine. One day, you'll wake up and up and your sun will be shining all day long and nobody will be able to take that away from you! <P>Today I had to go to my dean in college and tell her the trauma that I have been going through and not knowing what to do from one moment to the next. She just looked me in the eye and said, "Kim, you're gonna make it! Now get out there and talk to your instructors and work something out with them!" <P>I have been doing very poorly in my college courses this semester because of the ups and downs! I just keep reminding myself that there are people much worse off than I am right now and I can get through it. I know that this site has been very helpful for me. <P>So looking ahead--- Wake up each morning and count your blessings, look at all the good things in your life and embrace them with all your heart, hopefully, that will be enough to get you going and keep you going.<P>My best to you!

looking ahead,<P>Effective immediately, I accept your resignation from adulthood. You are now free to be eight years old and not have to deal with all this like an adult. Kick and scream and throw a hissy fit. Twirl on a merry-go-round until you are dizzy. Get yourself an ice cream cone and a licorice. Complain because you don't have your own TV in your bedroom and all your friends do! Play gameboy games for eleven hours straight. Order a pizza and sleep in fuzzy pajamas and Eyeore slippers. Jump off the swings. Wear tennis shoes with the shoelaces untied and don't trip. Play with your dog or cat. Have Captain Crunch cereal for breakfast while you watch Saturday cartoons. <P>On Monday,I will give you your "adulthood" back, but for this weekend, you have officially resigned. No bills, no decisions, no laundry, no dishes, and NO adult discussions. <P>CJ<P>P.S. Yes, by the way, I get tired too. I am tired of being understanding, considerate, and "being the bigger person". We all feel like that at times, and the holidays make it even worse. <P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

That is how I'm feeling tonight to a tee. <P>Toast to Better and Brighter days ahead!<P>Cheers<P>Jill

With my screen name, HOW could I NOT reply here!!!<P>This has been the most draining year of my life. But it has also been the most fullfilling as well? Does that make any sense? I mean I have learned soooo much about myself this year - about who I was - who I am - and who I want to become.<P>Sure this year has sucked the big one! But I look to it as one HUGE learning and growing experience. My faith is 1000x stronger and my self confidence which had taken a beating over the past few years is beginning to return.<P>I look forward for this New Year's Eve - Will have more than my fair share of cocktails! I am determined to leave this year behind in the dust and focus on what may be in the new year ahead!<P>Have a good weekend everybody!<BR>I'm going home to sleep - wish I could sleep for a month straight!<P>God Bless and keep,<BR>Mike

It's very hard sometimes to "do it all" and to be strong. But you only have to make one decision at a time and most of the time things turn out ok. <P>One of the things I learned early on was that God doesn't always get His way. That's because He gave us the ability and righ to choose.<P>Kim - I have also learned that if you ask for something, you'll probably get it. Talk to your teachers. I have found mine to always be great to work with. And my life has sure been crazy.<P>

I completely understand! I get tired of being Supermom. <P>This year has been exhausting but for some reason, I'm unable to really sleep. Maybe one day, I won't be so tired! <P>Running away sounds really good!<P>Mitzi

looking ahead,<P>I guess tired is the best way to explain it all...<P>Seems like I have so much to bare and tired of bearing it alone. Tired being the mother <B>and father</B> to a 2 yr old and newborm after coming home from working a ten and half hour day on the streets. That is if I don't get called to some crazy wild accident or some felony that causes me to work over because I got take some [censored] to jail. Then trying to find someone to pick up my kids.<P>Tired of wondering if I'm doing a good job with teaching, disciplinig, and the overall job of raising my kids. Tired of never having no time to do anything for myself and feeling guilty whenever I do find a hour or two to be by myself. Tired of living in NC without any family when the only reason I ever was here was because of stbx's career and now he's gone. <P>Yeah I want to run away from it all, but when I'm finish running, its the same bull**** I have to come back too.<P>I'm sorry I guess I was supposed to be encouraging, but I really needed to vent. <P>I do believe, however, that not only I but everyone here, will get thru this. But time the ultimate so called healer seems to be taking its time in getting that day here.<P>------------------<BR><B>God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can...And the wisdom to know the difference.</B><P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Debts<BR>Isolation<BR>Venting<BR>Opinions<BR>Restlessness<BR>Courts<BR>Enlisting help<P>divorce<P><BR>I like it when......<P>it is just my child and me playing foolishly,<BR>but i hate it when responsibilities get in the way.<P>I would like to be the "good time" parent.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by looking ahead (edited December 20, 2000).]

I wish i could fast forward over everything in my life.<P>To run away i guess but also to know that my child is good and my new job is secure and that i can relax in quiting my current job.<P>That's what a second income was good for i could job change whenever i wished!<p>[This message has been edited by looking ahead (edited December 20, 2000).]

I use to get tired now i accept the things i can not change. Let go of the bitterness and moved on.<BR>