... for getting upset and yelling in "my" house last Tues. This was over the miscommunication regarding my d's cancelled bball game.<P>X said she was upset because she got lost and hadn't taken enough zoloft and that she was sorry. I didn't say much.<P>We then talked about holidays. She asked about my mother and diagnosed her as having cancer. Hey, she's a cardiac nurse, that hasn't seen my mother in about 2 yrs, so I'm sure she is right! LOL<P>I then asked if she was going to pay for half of s's birthday and she came back with she bought them both winter coats and they were expensive. I told her how much it cost and didn't say anything else. She then said she would send me some money when she could. Thats big of her!<P>

Your x apologized. The closest mine ever came was to say "I didn't mean for you to get mad." He has yet to apologize for any of his inappropriate behavior except for one time when he was ugly on the phone on a Saturday night. He called me on his cell phone while he was driving to work the next morning - even that wasn't a decent apology. Didn't really apologize but that was what he was trying to do.<P>I solved the bd party problem. I have it smallish, sort of, don't invite x or his family and do what I want. Then I don't have to see his fat, ugly face. Or those of his enablers. So, sometimes we have really small parties. And they get shuffled to fit budget and time crunch. D was born right before Thanksgiving so I have to juggle the sewing of serious Halloween costumes, the grief I feel over knowing they'll be gone almost all of Thanksgiving weekend, and the imminence of Christmas. It's tough. And I still have to get that party taken care of for this year. But she will get a party.<p>[This message has been edited by cinderella (edited December 18, 2000).]

Bob,<P>WOW< I'm amazed???? My ex appologizes rarely, usually its after I break down and lose my temper which he's not used to seeing, so I think it just makes him confused!<P>Thats good though that she admitted she was wrong though. I know a few guys who's wives have cheated and are nurses. DO you think thats odd?? The others were psych nurses though.<P>Dana<BR>

Dana,<BR>A counselor told me that a lot of professions that are heavy in one gender such as nursing and elementary school teachers do seem to have more than their fair share of affairs. When there is only a few of the opposite sex available, they just draw more attention from the others. I have no data to back this up, but was told this by a minister and a counselor.<P>The counselor also told me that she sees a lot of affairs arise out of the medical field. She said she saw where the medical professional has all their needs filled at the job and starts to replace the marriage with work. Then unlike most people who moan about going to work, they moan about going home to a spouse who may not understand what they go thorough emotionally at work. SO who better to turn to than another medical worker and because of the odds, they may turn to the opposite sex, because who want sympathy from a member of the same sex ?<P>I believe this is what happened in my marriage. IN fact my x did say she had all her needs met at work, especially after she took up with om.<P>Its interesting, my x was a psch nurse for couple years before I met her. She still thinks herself one too!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by RWD:<BR><B>... for getting upset and yelling in "my" house last Tues. This was over the miscommunication regarding my d's cancelled bball game. X said she was upset because she got lost and hadn't taken enough zoloft and that she was sorry. I didn't say much.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>SSRI's like Zoloft are not all the same, and not all correct for every apparent condition that a psychiatrist can reasonably prescribe them for in every person (meaning you can expect trial and error with brands and dosages will be reqiured for the doctor-patient team to get it right). The wrong one can cause that kind of reaction, as can the underdose she described, or it could be the doctor hasn't seen her enough yet to realize that she has a slightly different condition. If it's out of character for her, take her at her word. If it keeps happening, she needs to tell the doctor.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>We then talked about holidays. She asked about my mother and diagnosed her as having cancer. Hey, she's a cardiac nurse, that hasn't seen my mother in about 2 yrs, so I'm sure she is right! LOL</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I hope not. But if she suggested something specific, you might want to check it out ... your ex is probably experienced enough that you shouldn't blow her off entirely, regarless of how you feel about her personally.

Sisyphus,<BR>This is and has been her real character. She always got real upset on a inconsequential things. No one likes to get lost, but she had recited the direction to me in the morning. It was a simple miscommunication and she was bent out of shape as usual.<P>As far as her diagnosis, she is a good nurse, but I thought it was ridiculous to make that jump. Somethinh is wrong with my mother, but to jump from pnuemonia which she has to cancer is a bit of leap I think. My mother is under a dr's care, how good is in question though.

Bob,<P>This would make sense. A briggs and myers personality type for nursing is one that is very similar to an ESFJ, like my wife. They get such a high off of helping people who are at their worst, it makes them look the best.<P>Then when they come home, they also have to help persons, and houses. My X told me that I could never replace the high she gets from being an EMT, and saving people,etc. so she just made that a priority and a volunteer job with maybe $2,000 per year income over my me, and the bulk of our income. She even can escape work in the middle of class teaching to go to a call if she desires.<P>they are all Extroverts, they get their energy from other people, and expect to be worshipped at home for saving other people outside the family. well how about saving the family?<P>Sheba had a real good post on the analysis of civil servant jobs, police and how the power and comraderie go to their head. that is another seductive pull, the trauma debriefing and how you have to call each other for support, as only fellow emt's are able to empathize. this just made OM#1, the local EMT god so attractive, but then he left, or something, and now is with OM#2, who i'm not sure what, but something, she likes.<P>probably quiet outdoor activities, where i am an athlete, he is a hunter/dog raising kind of guy. non competitive, animal lover.<P>the whole deal just pisses me off from the very beginning because of the red flags i saw back then, and misinterpreted the causes of them, and thought, yeah, well if that's the worst that can happen. it still burns my @ss that i didn't listen to myself.<P>tom<P>tom

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by RWD:<BR><B>This is and has been her real character. She always got real upset on a inconsequential things.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>That may not be her "real" character, any more than some other trait we don't want is the "real" us that shouldn't be taken away by medicine. My point is just that it may be one of the very things she's taking Zoloft to try to get rid of, and the Zoloft may be failing.<BR>