My brother just walked out on my sister-in-law. The reason: she didn't keep the house clean. Real reason: he's probably having an affair. He was caught with someone else a few months ago.<P>SIL has one daughter from a previous marriage and one daughter with brother.<P>As some of you know my STBX and I are divorcing. She's been seeing another man for quite some time now. Divorce and custody issues are going great. I'm getting everything I want.<P>Is there a point to marriage at all? I'd really like to know. Is everyone so shallow that an affair is the answer to marriage problems? What is the point to marriage? Do I have a chance of meeting anyone remotely interested in honoring marriage vows? And while we're at it, what is the meaning of life?

Hi - I can totally emphasize. It seems that everyone I know is divorcing because of an affair. Betrayal and infidelity run in my family and I vow to do the best I can with my daughter that this does not happen to her. I am trying to move forward with my life but some days are a lot easier than others. I was single for a long time and finally got to a place where I was ok being single and then I met my ex and everything seemed so easy. He seemed to be my reward for being so patient while I went to countless weddings of friends and family. Now because of his infidelity and the monumental amount of lies he has told me for the last year I feel that he has now turned into my nightmare. On the news they often interview neighbors of an axe murderer or a sexual predator and the neighbors always say stuff like "Oh he was the nicest guy - I guess we did not really know him". That is how I feel about my ex now - I think he was a "chameleon" for the last 13 years being the person I wanted him to be and not being himself (but then again I don't think he has a clue about who he really is). Anyway I feel that after 13 years I never really knew this man. My goal now is to get ok with myself, be the greatest parent to my 11 yo D, and surround myself with friends and family. I will wait for relationship to find me. <BR>P.S. Totally clueless about the meaning of life. Let me know if you find out

I don't have a clue about the meaning of life.<P>I went to the doctor for a physical for work a couple of months back & he commented on my rather dramatic weight loss. When I told him I was on the "infidelity diet" he rolled his eyes and said that half of his patients seemed to be breaking up relationships at any given time.<P>I'm not sure there is a point to marriage. I think the reason the institution is still in vogue is mainly tradition and religion. I don't think there is anything intrisically wrong with a lifelong commitment between two people, but my experience along with that of 50% of America hasn't been good.<P>I would like to have someone to share my life with and would certainly consider marriage again, but I could also see just "living together". In either instance I would certainly want to develop a bond with very strong communication skills and a very deep understanding of each others wants and needs.<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

The ONLY meaning to life is the ONE YOU GIVE IT! Religion tries to do that for people who haven't yet answered that question for themselves, (which is fine).<P>And raising kids to be the best they can be is a great one! Why else did we have them?<P>right now around the holidays, is the toughest, last why i had a really lousy frustrating weekend last weekend, so I was there with you. Some people are just not into the holidays as in the past. some of us are just lonely, which is understandable.<P>My suggestion is to find a small cause, a small outside activity to participate in, sports, community, and focus on that, outside the self.<P>patience, patience, patience, and everyone will get through the holidays.<P>my head doctor, said i was a perfect candidate for MEDITATION! try it, YOGA is great, and in a big group, you get to sneak a peak at some nice bodies, MALE and female.<BR>As well as forcing you to concentrate on yourself, and building quiet within the mind.<P>give it a try, i have done yoga, and it works really well!<P>WIFTT<BR>

No, there is no point to marriage, especially for women, who can have babies with A.I., and who probably have an easier time adopting as a single parent than does a man - unfair as that may be. <P>If there were a reasonable probability of the marriage commitment being livelong, then there would be a point. Even if you could be sure your spouse wouldn't abandon his or her commitment, not to mention his or children, without warning, without ever mentioning that anything was wrong, there might be a point. But when you can never know - when your spouse can act perfectly normal, tell you he will miss you as he goes off on a business trip, and then change completely within twenty-four hours after nothing more than phone conversations with an OW - no, I think you would have to be crazy and masochistic to marry.

Yes, there is a point to marriage. But, it requires a lot of work, going for a deep, honest soul-connection. Most of us are afraid of actually attaining the level of intimacy that we crave, and instead look for "quick fixes". Aside from the WS who are mentally ill, most are simply looking for something that is missing in their lives, and thet make the mistake of thinking they can find out somewhere else. <P>My 2 cents...<P>Kathi