I wrote my H a letter two weeks ago...<BR>Shortly after he read it I spoke with him and he said he was working on a reply...Well he hasn't so far. Then later I spoke with him again and told him to please go over the settlement agreement I had written , whatever he didn't agree with we could work on it and if we couldn't come to an agreement I would consider mediation....<BR>At the time he said how sorry he was it had come to this...and boy was it all a mess.....<P>Since the letter I have tried to do a true plan B...except when I needed to talk to him about our son..etc. ( which has only been twice for a few minutes) <P>Seems to me he doesn't miss me or wants to continue the marriage...but still hasn't taken the Divorce off of hold...I haven't either but told him I would do it in Jan...if he hadn't by then...(wanted to get thru the holidays without the arguments that I suspected would follow.<P>Anyway I want to get most of this over with by the end of Jan...so I could try to start my new year with a new life....<P>I still want my marriage to work...but realistically know I can't do it IF he doesn't want too. <P>Should I mention it...send him a snail mail letter...<BR>He called our son tonight and I asked my son to tell him I would like to speak with him and H said no....so....I guess he is calling it quits...<P>Now what do I do? JUst wait for him? Take the Divorce off hold in Jan. so that he is forced to deal with it? <P>I know some will think maybe he isn't sure he wants the Divorce....I know that is the case...but he does know he doesn't want to be married anymore either....he has told me that...So what do I do now....? <P>

My XW and I have a settlement agreement, but we've both been pretty lackadaisical about pursuing the final loose ends of it. I was very damaged by the divorce, very inertial, and going through all sorts of feelings, and I don't know what's really been going on with her since I was more or less Plan B, and for some of the time she was out of the country. <P>Bottom line: it's never easy. A third party can help move it along, but if XH doesn't want to communicate with you it's hard to make anything happen without doing some hostile things to tweak him. You may not be at that point. Christmas is a tough time for this too. <P>Good luck.