Once again I am going nuts, it has been 7 months and I am in extreme need of affection. I find myself wanting to do many things that are probably unhealth as hell but damn I would love to just touch a woman and have her touch me back.<P>Just blowing off stream or if someone has ideas let me know tkyster@alegent.org

hio,<P>I know exactly what you are going through. I've been there. I think we all have at some point or another, especially now. And it's not even the sex so much that you're missing, it's just the good old fashioned skin hunger that needs to be quenched. <P>Unfortunately, I don't have much advice for you. The only real way I know to attain this affection is to get out and meet someone. But you can only do that if you are ready for it. Unless you have some female friends that don't mind giving hugs. I know it's not the same, but it still helps to touch another person sometimes. If even in a friendly sort of way.<BR>

I second Jayhawk's recommendation. I had a friend who asked what she could do for me. And I told her I really missed being touched. That a hug when she saw me would be a very helpful thing. And, for the longest time, everytime she saw me, I got a hug. This was from one woman to another. So it didn't meet nearly all my needs. But it did free up some other people to hug me. I suppose hugs might be a bit easier for women to obtain. But there is the one-armed sideways hug. Pats on the back. Are those ever exchanged among men sort of like handshakes? I've thought about this before. Haven't any answers.<P>I would recommend not running out and having an affair for the sake of meeting your need for affection. Consequences are high. Then you have to deal with all aftermath. You know they say, as a rule of thumb, that it's best not to date for about 6 months after the divorce. What a bummer but you are usually such a bloody mess emotionally that you're likely to feel stuff that isn't there and end up in even worse shape. <P>Now, you can join us in Nashville next month. There you can get all the hugs you need. And everyone will go home to their separate corners of the universe and you won't have to see the ugly ones again. Have you found those threads. I'm e-mailing you about them.<BR> don't start dating

Hi guys,<P>I hope this isn't a male thread, but I can relate.<P>Unfortunately, for a female, if you get all touchy/feely most men seem to think it's a signal to 'let's go to bed'.......<P>Very BIG generalisation I know, but unless you hug your brother (which I don't have) or have a male best friend (which I don't), it ends up with having to beat a hasty retreat. <BR>Maybe not the day of the 'hug', but further down the track.....<P>For some reason, once men find out I've just divorced, it's like a light goes on in their little heads and they say to themselves<BR>"right, she's had a time of it lately, some good old fashioned sex with no strings attached is just what she needs.... And I'm just the one to do it....."<P>hmmmmmmmm....... have to think about that one, NOT.<P>I also miss the little touches, the hugs, the kisses good morning and the caresses. God, I miss that so much. Aren't those things so beautiful. I don't think I took them for granted before, but I sure as heck won't in the future.<BR>We were always a touchy feely couple. Always holding hands, he kissed me every morning and night, and when he left for work. I will never understand what happened....<BR>Anyway, that's in the past.<P>Just wanted to let you know I know exactly how you feel.<P>Here's a big hug for you, albeit cyber...<P>{{{{{hurtinginomaha}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>{{{{{jayhawk}}}}}}}}}}}<P>have a happy day<P>love and hugs<P>Jo

As you can see, along with Jayhawk and Cinderella, I assume that you actually mean AFFECTION and some of the snuggly, touching that is affectionate vs. sexual fulfillment. Is that an accurate assumption?<P>Well, I shall proceed bravely on with my assumption. I am a "chick" (older than a babe, but younger than a broad), but I still know exactly what you are talking about. For me, personally, I am a huge toucher, meaning I get a lot of my comfort and validation and esteem and gosh, just about everything, from touching and being touched. Hugs, holding hands, putting arms around each other, stroking an arm, toe kisses under the blanket, my head on his shoulder--these are all things that mean more than words can express, don't necessarily lead to sex, and are a huge missing part of my life right now. In my opinion there are two touches that I don't have right now, lonely touch and sexy touch, and I miss both DESPERATELY.<P>I would certainly agree that running out and having a one-nighter is not the answer, but it sure is tempting, and boy, sometimes its just something you need. I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly would not feel judgemental if you gave in to temptation, 'cuz boy that's a toughy. I don't think it would really be what you're looking for though. I bet what you are really longing for is someone to look at you with that "I love you" look in their eye and hug you and hold you all night. Right? The other way, would be a temporary fix, but not a real repair. <P>I can't offer you a ton of help, except to say I understand, and I hope my email was helpful. I'm so sorry you feel sapped out and desperate for a little loving. It really SUCKS, doesn't it? Hope my cyberhugs help a little bit, and I hope it helps to know you are not alone. Write if you need to.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hurtinginOmaha}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hurtinginOmaha}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hurtinginOmaha}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hurtinginOmaha}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>CJ<BR><P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Thanks for the input folks, it really is the affection thing. Touching , caressing, kissing holding some one closely it is like your whole body just aches. <P>It is harder with guys to get the huggs, I run an EAP and I teach sexual harassment classes and you have to be very careful in the workplace. Outside the work place the only women I know are my friends wives and you don't and you should not get the deep fullfilling huggs we all need.<P>Guys just don't hug like women do! I have had two opportunities presented to me by married women and I have declined to become engaged with them, I don't know what the deal is but when I was married nobody expressed any interest but now that I am divorced it is only married women who have expressed interest and this just buggs the crap out of me. Of course as most of you know my wife had affair!<P>I have been tempted but I certainly do not want to be what my wife was involved with! <P>Thanks again and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone!