how hard divorce is?<P>I tend to not take that crap, and tell her I don't want to hear about it from her.<BR>it is just wanting sympathy, and for the WS to want that, is just crap.<P>Any good canned answers? I just need one that i can use consistently without having too much thought?<P>tom<p>[This message has been edited by WhenIfindthetime (edited December 23, 2000).]

Well, if mine ever said that, I'd probably say something like:<P>"Yes it is. That's one of the reasons why I don't want to get divorced". <P>Unfortunately she's still in the fog, so it's not likely that I'll hear anything like that soon.<P>Take care...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

What I tell my XH every day "you made your bed now you sleep in it with her!"<P>Gets him everytime!<P>Jill

We never have that much to say to each other. I basically try to Plan B when I can. When she starts with her crap, I just brush her off and say I have to go. <P>Except a couple weeks ago when I threw her out when she started *****ing about the miscommunication involving our d's bball game.<P>Hey, they don't want to be married to us so why put up with their crap?<P>Merry Christmas!!!!

Hey Tom,<P>You want good canned answers, let me give you some from Michele Weiner-Davis.<P>1. Divorce doesn't solve the problems it is meant to solve.<P>2. Divorce creates new problems.<P>3. Divorce hurts children of all ages.<P>4. Divorce is not the answer.<P>The D decree is just a piece of paper. Emotional ties with the X can last up to 10 years, that is with or without children. You don't just walk away from a M. Well, physically you can, but, mentally it's not that easy. <P>The WS is still carrying the baggage along from our M and until they realize that they must also change, they can find a new partner, but the problems will remain the same.<P>Believe me on this one. Happened in my first M where I was the betrayer.<P>Take care.<P>Tim

I'm sorry, but I agree with you. If divorce is so hard, than they shouldn't do it!!<P>Goofballs! I say they should whine to the OM/OW about it, not the spouse and family that they are breaking up.<P>(climbing down off my soapbox)<P>Sorry about the sermon. My stbx doesn't think it's hard at all--he's glad to be rid of me and goes to great lengths to avoid me or be mean when he does see me, so I must admit that I WISH he found it harder than he does. What I mean is that I wish he had some kind of regrets. As it is now, I think he just wants to erase me. <P> <P>As for a canned answer, why don't you just give her a quarter and say, "Call someone who cares"? Too tough? How about "Then don't do it"? That should stop her in her tracks!<P> <P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.