Hi i'm Steevo36 and new to all of this. After a 8 yr marriage and a cute 6mon old daughter,my wife tells me she is leaving me for her "soulmate" in the Netherlands.She met him on-line and now i'm a little lost to say the least.Can anyone help? I'm also having trouble with some of the abbr. on the forum. Any input would be appreciated.

Steevo:<P>I'd suggest that you post more of the details in <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=General+Questions+II&number=37&DaysPrune=30&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>General Questions II</A>, in the infidelity section of this BB.<P>Briefly, I'd suggest that you order a copy of Dr. Harley's book <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>Surviving an Affair</A> and start implementing <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A.</A>. I'd also urge you to consider the phone counseling at MarriageBuilders: Steve Harley helped me through my wife's internet affair---which turned into a "real" affair. The MB office is 888-639-1639, and Steve and his sister (Jennifer Harley Chalmers) do the counseling.<p>[This message has been edited by K (edited December 26, 2000).]

For information on the accronyms, take a look here:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum34/HTML/001645.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum34/HTML/001645.html</A>

Dear Steevo...<P>K has great advice for you...get the book, call for counseling....interent affairs seldom work, but the pain it is causing your marriage will kill it if you don't do whatever it takes to save your marriage..my x also had an online affair...I was unable to save it, but you still have time and hope!!<P>------------------<BR>Susan

Welcome <B>Steevo36</B>...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://pages.ivillage.com/mb_nsr/MB_GW.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P><B>K</B> is right...<BR>...and check out the links in my <A HREF="http://pages.ivillage.com/mb_nsr/MB_GW.html" TARGET=_blank>Welcome</A> post...<BR>...and followup with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P> <P>Jim

Hello Steevo,<P>Welcome to the Marriage Builders site. You got some great links to get you started.<P>Sorry to hear you are going thru this. You will find a lot of support here. My ex left me a year ago on Xmas Day. In a few days, I'll have been here a year myself!<P>Funny how time flies. I have made some great friends and this is a great place to find support, knowledge on affairs, and when your up for it, even a little humor.I hope it brings you the peace it brought me this past year.<P>Dana<BR>

Sorry your here with this site.<BR>But glad you found it.<P>If she's leaving for you for her soulmate than protect yourself as a parent and get rights over location of your child.<P>Go for joint custody and even allow her residence to be the main one. Split everything 50/50 and keep lawyers out of it, except to file the paper work.<P>Don't let her leave the house with the child. No your not going to get soul custudy so don't waste your money by seeking it. But for god sakes don't let her surprise you by moving to the netherlands either!!!<BR>Protect your rights and decide what plan q or b works for your comfort level.<BR>I'm sorry for the harshness but i wouldn't like to read a couple more months doen the road you got side swiped AGAIN!<P>

Steve, I heard the soul mate stuff myself! What a joke, my wife soul mate vanished when she started divorce process.<P>Hang here and talk about what is occurring with you, I have been here for 8 months off and on. It does get easier and I will pray for you and your wife.<P>