I've stopped trying to win back my stbx months ago, and since then she's been getting nastier and nastier. Everything is being turned around, it's all my fault. I'm being told I'm a bad person because....<P>I had to sell off everything, including the house and split the proceeds with her, and she didn't even lift a finger to help, now I'm beign accused of stealing everything and keeping the money for myself.<P>I give my daughter all the love and attention I believe she needs right now, whereas she doesn't and refuses (her words) to stoop to my level and spoil our daughter, as a consequence, my daughter prefers to spend time with me than with her.<P>I was the first to recognize the fact that my daughter needed some sort of counseling and told her mother that, she refused to believe her daughter needed any kind of help until she saw a picture dipicting our family, drawn by my daughter, broken to pieces and the only one smiling in the picture was her mother. <P>Yes I was the one to file for divorce first, I admit that and I regret that, but I did so because she insisted that that was the only way I could make her happy and secondly to protect myself financially from her spending binges which I no longer refused to pay for. Now she keeps throwing that back in my face even though she's the one who wanted it and says that the only reason she wanted it was because I stole money from her. <P>I don't know. I just can't win. She's telling me to take responsibility for my daughter and buy her shoes, when in fact it's her turn to buy her shoes since I did so the last two times. This was supposed to be 50/50, more like 90/10. Well since I can't win, I'm going to spoil myself and my daughter. On friday we are leaving for Disney World and boy if that didn't fry her can. Now I'm the worlds worst father for spoiling my daughter and I need to take responsibility for the consequences that'll cause. Well she can go straight to ****.<BR>I, Jax, hereby take full responsibility for spoiling my daughter the way she deserves to be spoiled and I'm going to spoil myself in the process. If this one trip makes me the world's worst father, then so be it, small price to pay for keeping mine and my daughter's sanity through all this. Be thinking of everyone here while I'm on the beach. Take care all.<BR>Jax.

Jax,<P>I think it's great your doing things with <BR>your daughter..you both deserve to have some<BR>fun..I think the ex is just jealous that<BR>she's not going with you..and she see's your going on with your life and enjoying it..and <BR>she's probably not really all that happy..but oh well.<P>and to let you know..it's COLD in FLORIDA right now..lol..so you may consider bringing some warm clothes.. <P>

Fine, I'll lay on the beach in my sweats. LOL LOL <BR>

Treat her like my WS and STBX. Tell her you love her and wish her well. (Mine has filed and I'm supposed to get primary custody of our 4 1/2 yr old daughter) Tell her you're doing extremely well. It irritates the hell out of my STBX. She's a basket case right now, but she just HAS TO HAVE HIM. He's no prize, but she can't see it. Ignore anything negative your STBX says and tell her you love her. (you can love someone without respecting them and trusting them) Don't even try to figure out your WS's flawed logic. Hopefully in time your WS will come out of her brain death and your honorable behavior will at least be rewarded in a "good divorce" (if there is such a thing) At least for your daughter.<P>Have fun in DW. You DESERVE it. We went to DW in February. If your daughter is young, take an umbrella stroller (even on the plane ride if necessary, they'll put it on as baggage). It beats the hell out of renting strollers and it is quite a distance to the parks sometimes. (been there, done that) We absolutely loved Animal Kingdom. I'm thinking about taking my daughter to DL. I've never been to California and want to see it.<P>Like Thorned Rose said... Your STBX isn't as happy as she thought she'd be (like mine) and is just jealous.

Jax-<P>I have tried very hard to keep my personal opinions about your stbx out of my conversations to you, but....... SHE is a major *****!!!! I see her as jealous because you are finally moving on with your life and because you have a better relationship with your daughter than she does. She is a very vengeful person and unfortunatly your daughter is getting the short end of the stick on this from her. I see her as petty, and down right not taking responsibility for her actions. She is focusing on herself when her outlook should be more focused on her children and their well being. She has a warped sense of priorities in her life and it is starting to catch up with her and she is becoming mad and spiteful because things are not going her way.<P>And to be honest here, I am glad that things are not going her way.<P>As far as the spoiling goes... I see it as anything but that. You currently have the ability to do a trip with her, you are just taking advantage of that and trying to help your daughter have some good memories in this point in time when those are few and far between. You are not doing anything wrong and I am very glad that you are doing it! The only thing that I ask is don't think too much of all of us back here... Besides doing this for your daughter to bring some happiness into her life, do it for yourself as well. Take the time to relax, forget about all of the horrors in your life, and just try to ENJOY yourself and your time with your daughter. There will be pleanty of time to deal with the rest of the world when you come back. Don't worry, for some reason I think that it will still be waiting for you when you get back.<P>-Java

{{{{{{{{jax}}}}}}}}<P>All you can do is what's best for you and your daughter. Your ex is very bitter right now. Perhaps she is angry with herself and taking it out on you.<P>I feel your pain in your post and I know you have done your best. Most WS get a little slap in the face when we stop trying and walk away. They think we'll chase after them forever!!<P>The worst is probably past even though you'll still have bad days here and there. Put your daughter first and let everything else roll off you in front of the ex. If she knows she's getting to you, she'll continue.<P>If she thinks you could care less, she'll get frusterated and leave you alone.<P>Good luck, Dana<BR>